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(Homer introduces his kids to Herb.)
Herb: So, Lisa, are you the little hell-raiser your father told me about?
Lisa: No, sir. I can assure I'm not.
Bart: (Proudly) I'm the little hell-raiser, sir.
Marge: Would you like to hold the baby, Herb?
Herb: Oh, I'm afraid I wouldn't know how.
Homer: (Holding Maggie in one arm.) Oh, what's to know? Just dive in. Catch! (Tosses Maggie over to Herb.)
Herb: Oh! (Catches Maggie in his arms and smells her.) God, that new baby smell. Homer, you're the richest man I know.
Homer: (In awe) I feel the same about you.


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The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 Quotes

(Herb gives the Simpsons a tour of his mansion.)
Herb: While you're here, I want you to make yourselves right at home. Anytime you're hungry, anytime day or night, Cook will make you anything you want.
Homer: Even pork chops?
Herb: Absolutely. We have a tennis court, a swimming pool, a screening room--
Homer: You mean, if I want pork chops, even in the middle of the night, your guy will fry 'em up?
Herb: Sure. That's what he's paid for. Now, if you need towels, laundry--
Homer: Wait!
Herb: Maids--
Homer: Wait, wait, wait, wait! Let me see if I've got this straight. It's Christmas day, 4:00 a.m., there's a rumble in my stomach--
Marge: Homer, please!
Herb: (Laughs and grabs Homer around the shoulder.) Your old man sure loves pork chops!
Bart: (Laughs) He sure does, Uncle Herb.

(Homer's artsy commercial for his newly designed car: The commercial uses far away shots of Homer driving the car on a mountain road overlooking the ocean and up close shots of Homer inside the car.)
Woman: (Off camera and singing.) Whatever Homer wants
Homer: (Narrating) All my life, I have searched for a car that feels a certain way.
Woman: (Off camera and singing.) Homer gets.
Homer: (Narrating) Powerful like a gorilla, yet soft and yielding like a Nerf ball. Now, at last, I have found it.
(A title card reads: "Homer, The Car Built for Homer.")

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