Phil: I'm terrible at insults. As a child, I was beaten up constantly. The best comeback I ever came up with was, "You're right. I'll work on that."
Lem: I can help you, you sad jar of hobo urine.
Phil: Pow! I've been Lem-basted.

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Better Off Ted Quotes, Better Off Ted Season 2 Episode 8 Quotes, Phil Mymen Quotes, Lem Hewitt Quotes
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Better Off Ted Season 2 Episode 8 Quotes

Veronica: I was up against this man--Walter--who had the same last name as I do, although we pronounce it differently.
Linda: There's another way to pronounce "Palmer"?
Veronica: In his family, the "P" is silent. I think it's Dutch. It sounds like their stupid handiwork, with their cheese and their giant propeller buildings.
Linda: So Walter... "Almer"?
Veronica: I know. Those people are unbelievable.

Ted: "Employees must now use offensive or insulting language in the workplace." This has to be a mistake. Why would the company want us to swear at each other?
Veronica: Well, maybe they're trying to make the people at work seem more like a real family, Butt-Munch. Yeah this is going to be good.
Linda: Like everything the company does to us, it's gotta be about money. Maybe when someone's called a "lazy sack of crap," they work harder so they can just be a "sack of crap."
Ted: Oh, this is gonna be a problem. People here follow memos. Especially since that memo came out saying people have to follow memos.

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