Gloria: Jay, I'm home. Did Manny call?
Jay: No, because he's fine. It was a slumber party, not a gang fight.

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Modern Family Season 1 Episode 4 Quotes

Cameron: Who was that?
Mitchell: My mom
Cameron: Yeah right, cause the last time she was here the magnets are the refrigerator arranged themselves into a penta... hi grandma!

Gloria: I'm taking a shower, would you like to join me?
Jay: Honey, you know there's a gun in the footlocker in the garage, if I ever say no, I want you to use it on me