Marge, this is perfect for both of us! It's got bowling for me and sweeping for you.

Homer [about curling]

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The Simpsons Season 21 Episode 12 Quotes

Marge: Ice skating, a sport that encourages hand holding.
Homer: Would you like to wear mittens or go commando?

Lenny: Date night, it's the embalming fluid that keeps the mummy of a marriage fresh after the heart and brain have been pulled out through the nose.
Carl: I never should have given you that Egyptology book.