Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX

I traded away my pearls. Without them I'm just a big Maggie.


Bob Costas: It appears team Sweden will take the gold and they are over the moon with joy.
Swede: Joy is but the shadow pain casts.

A dime? What do you think I am, a payphone from 1980?


Marge: Homer! We're going to Vancouver!
Homer: Pack your winter coat, we're going to Canada's warmest city.

I was in love with a soldier boy on leave from Korea. It was a fifties style of romance, five minutes of sex and a lifetime of regret. He went back to his war and I went back to my dream of pole vaulting in the Helsinki Olympics. But there was a bump in the road, a bump named Seymore.

Agnes [in flashback]

Bart: Principal Skinner? This is bogus man, you know the rules: two letter and a conference before I get a home visit.
Skinner: Bart, my cargo pants indicate I am not here on school business. I'm here on cool business, i.e. curl business.

Agnes: Where did you learn to sweep like that?
Marge: I've been training all my life. I once swept red wine off a white carpet.

Marge, this is perfect for both of us! It's got bowling for me and sweeping for you.

Homer [about curling]

Marge: Ice skating, a sport that encourages hand holding.
Homer: Would you like to wear mittens or go commando?

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