If you're ordering me an edible arrangement to say thanks, I'd prefer a meat one.


We found your name on a list she keeps folded up in her shoe.


Something terrible has happened, and for once I'm not talking about the collapse of the middle class.


I know the Woggles. My eight year old niece walked down the aisle to that song at her wedding.


I just wanna make you proud of me, LL-Dad-Liz-Dad.


Liz: Why are you so heavy?
Tracy: Cause so much of me has died.

It's a California Kong, which is two California Kings tied together with gorilla leather.


You know what they say boys. If you can't stand the heat, get off of Mickey Rourke's sex grill.


Jack: Your life is tied to the fate of the ring. It must be destroyed.
Pete: Are you quoting The Lord of the Rings?
Jack: No, I'm quoting myself talking to Bruce Willis.

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