Maybe my kindergarten teacher was right. Maybe I am too controlling.


Veronica: Here, you do it.
Phil: Me?
Veronica: No, the microphone-attaching elf who lives in my drawer.
Phil: Talking about drawer elves isn't going to make this any less scary.

Phil: You know what might brighten your day? A peek at the smallest squirrel science can make.
Lem: But we're going to have to ask you to wear a face mask. He's crazy easy to inhale.

Lem: Together we're a thing of beauty, like a swan.
Phil: But on my own, I'll be like half a swan. All I'll do is make a big mess and die.

So it's your turn in the saddle, cowboy. get on that horse and... I don't know any more cowboy things. Wait. Beans.


So did you hear the latest office gossip? Ryan the security guard quit his job because you're a giant douche-mobile. That's right, you're a douche on wheels. Or perhaps a decorative sculpture hanging above a baby douche's crib. The gossip didn't specify.


Ryan: You think I talk too much?
Ted: Well, I don't know about generally, but to me, oh, my God, yes.

Veridian Dynamics. Friendship. It's so important. But it's different at work. Time spent with friends at work robs your employer of opportunity. And robbing people is wrong. Veridian Dynamics. Friendship. It's the same as stealing.


Veronica: Sorry. From now on when you present ideas to me, only one of you is allowed to talk.
Lem: But that's not how we work.
Veronica: Exactly. That's now how we work.
Lem: Not.
Veronica: Now.
Lem: Not.
Veronica: Now. Now, now, now, now, now, now, now.
Lem: Not?
Veronica: Now, now, now, now, now, now, now.
Phil: We should go.

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