You're going to live to humiliate yourself another day.


Charlie: In my advanced middle age I've learned one thing and that's ignorance truly is bliss.
Marcy: Oh God damnit, it's these hot young skanks with their tight pussies and their perfect tits! It's a fucking epidemic!
Charlie: That is so true! They can't be stopped, they're marriage killers.

Your work is done Dad, I am who I am. I have to make my own mistakes.


No matter how beautiful the grounds this place is a zoo and I'm a wild animal.


Welcome to the place where time stands still, where whiskey flows and always will. Your liver never pickles your heart never aches. You can fuck till your dick is cunt-ent.


Thanks for letting me be the crazy one for once.


The older I get the clearer it becomes that you two were the best thing to ever happen to an old fool like me.


They fucking love you to pieces you dumb shit, we all do. You just have trouble loving yourself.


Ah ambrosia! I love a woman on her period.


There's no keeping a secret in this town.


That's just me, an ungrateful heathen, highway to Hell and whatnot.


Don't come back here without a dozen roses and your dick in a box.


Californication Season 5 Quotes

Carrie: It's just, you fucked me in the ass Hank.
Hank: Oh, are we talking metaphorically? Because...
Carrie: No, I gave up the butt for you!

I enjoy the casual nature of things.