Californication

Californication Season 5 Quotes

Season 5 Episode 12: "Hell Ain't a Bad Place to Be"

Hank: You're going to live to humiliate yourself another day.
 • Rating: Unrated

Charlie: In my advanced middle age I've learned one thing and that's ignorance truly is bliss.
Marcy: Oh God damnit, it's these hot young skanks with their tight pussies and their perfect tits! It's a f**king epidemic!
Charlie: That is so true! They can't be stopped, they're marriage killers.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Becca: Your work is done Dad, I am who I am. I have to make my own mistakes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Richard: No matter how beautiful the grounds this place is a zoo and I'm a wild animal.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lou: Welcome to the place where time stands still, where whiskey flows and always will. Your liver never pickles your heart never aches. You can f**k till your d**k is c**t-ent.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 5 Episode 11: "The Party"

Karen: Thanks for letting me be the crazy one for once.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Hank: The older I get the clearer it becomes that you two were the best thing to ever happen to an old fool like me.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marcy: They f**king love you to pieces you dumb s**t, we all do. You just have trouble loving yourself.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bates: Ah ambrosia! I love a woman on her period.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Charlie: There's no keeping a secret in this town.
 • Rating: Unrated

Hank: That's just me, an ungrateful heathen, highway to Hell and whatnot.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 5 Episode 10: "Perverts & Whores"

Hank: Don't come back here without a dozen roses and your d**k in a box.
 • Rating: Unrated

Trixie: One day Hank, you're not going to be pining and I'm not going to be working and sparks are gonna fly.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stu: No crying at the Palm Runkle
 • Rating: Unrated

Hank: I can make fun of Runkle but you can't.
 • Rating: Unrated

Hank: All my life I thought that sort of life was lame, but now I realize the joke was on me.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Charlie: Don't say mother fu-ker like that it makes me miss you.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 5 Episode 9: "At the Movies"

Hank: Just be careful. young writers on the rise have been known to make certain mistakes.
Becca: Such as?
Hank: Such as sticking their d**ks in places kind words and flattery come from.
 • Rating: Unrated

Hank: It helps to have daughters in low places.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tyler: He slapped you in the face with his d**k?
Charlie: Shh! Yes multiple times, I think he left a trail of dog water.
 • Rating: Unrated

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