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Californication

One day Hank, you're not going to be pining and I'm not going to be working and sparks are gonna fly.

Trixie

No crying at the Palm Runkle

Stu

I can make fun of Runkle but you can't.

Hank

All my life I thought that sort of life was lame, but now I realize the joke was on me.

Hank

Don't say mother fu-ker like that it makes me miss you.

Charlie

Hank: Just be careful. young writers on the rise have been known to make certain mistakes.
Becca: Such as?
Hank: Such as sticking their dicks in places kind words and flattery come from.

It helps to have daughters in low places.

Hank

Tyler: He slapped you in the face with his dick?
Charlie: Shh! Yes multiple times, I think he left a trail of dog water.

You are going to enchant an entire generation of teenage boys with those pound puppies.

Hank

You've got to let the cash be your laxative Hank.

Stu

Oh I'm sorry. Turns out I'm quite the Fruit Ninja.

Hank

That's what happens in a relationship, you stop caring. The next thing you know the sex is sporadic, the blow job's bi-annual and ass play is out of the question.

Hank
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 71 in total

Californication Season 5 Quotes

She's the kind of girl a guy meets when he's too young and he fucks up because there's too much looting left to do.

Tyler

Welcome to the place where time stands still, where whiskey flows and always will. Your liver never pickles your heart never aches. You can fuck till your dick is cunt-ent.

Lou
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