Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXPopular Family Guy Quotes
Welcome all to James Woods High's annual college fair, where each year, our seniors gather to decide where they will go in the fall to get HPV.
Principal Shepherd
Joe: I'll take smelling good over walking good any day.
Bonnie: You don't smell good, Joe.
Joe: I'm sorry, I thought I was alone.
Meg: In the last election, you voted for Mighty Mouse.
Peter: Time to put the might mouse in the White House.
Meg: Dad, sometimes I wonder why you even had a family.
Peter: I don't know...I was dating your mother, I don't like the way condoms feel, next thing you know, I got a mortgage, a kid, and a crappy job at a toy factory.
Hey, Lois! Guess who made 15 baskets at the county fair? Some kid we beat up! What a great day!
Peter
Donna: Oh Lois, I'm so glad to see Peter and Cleveland back together again.
Lois: Yeah, me too. Now Peter will have something to do besides flushing the toilet to Foghat's "Slow Ride."
Peter: I'm having an affair.
Lois: That's ridiculous.
Peter: It's not ridiculous, it's Cybill Shepherd. She's attainable for a guy like me now.
Lois: Peter, we gotta go talk to Donna.
Peter: Alright, but you need to cool down first, Lois. Find a way to channel your anger. What I do is throw a shot put into a crowd and make it look like an accident.
Did you see that? My dog had a gun.
Peter
That's the Riddler. He would make inquiries to set your mind a-jumble.
Cleveland
TV Announcer: We now return to Jeremy Piven in The Incredible Hulk.
Jeremy Piven: You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
Man: I don't like you now.
Oh, it's starting! I'm gonna live-tweet the show and ruin it for everyone in other time zones.
Stewie
