Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXPopular Family Guy Quotes
Well last night me and Brian got drunk and ate the turkey, but before you get mad we also ate the salad.
Peter
No, but why are you saying the dogs name before dads.
Chris
Hi there folks! Hand over the turkey!
Well the fat man is never going to get back in time, and with him gone that makes you the man of the house.
Stewie
Four years later me and Lois divorced and Stewie died. Gobble gobble.
Peter
Hey, its Thanksgiving. Shouldn't you be in Detroit losing a football game right about now.
Brian
Oh I will find one. I mean, you are looking at the guy who found the fountain of youth. It is very far away from here,
Peter
It's a living!
Meg
Oh it's not that much Lois, just infinity times what you bring home every week.
Peter
You want me to pick up something on the way or, no you're good?
Peter
Peter: Oh look Jesus, you shouldn't be alone during Christmas. And if I remember correctly, isn't your birthday sometime soon too?
Jesus: Ah whatever, I'm fine. I'll probably just reheat some ramen and watch Grey's Anatomy.
Jesus: Uh hot ladies. Horny ones. Who, uh, sex on you.
Quagmire: What?
Jesus: Yeah, you know, they come back to your house and sit on your butt.
