Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Quotes
Antonio: The painting. I must have it for my studio in Soho. I'll give you five thousand dollars. What do you say?
Peter: I say, "I love you, ya freakin' son of mine. I got five thousand bucks for that painting you gave me."
Chris: But dad, I painted that just for you.
Peter: Don't feel bad, Chris, I didn't even want it
Lois: A woman is not an object.
Peter: Your mother is right, son. Listen to what it says.
Lois: Peter!
I know, you're a feminist, and I think that's adorable, but this is grown-up time now and I'm the man
Peter
Lois, you've left me no choice but to beat you the only way I know how. By killing you!...in the race for schoolboard president
Peter
Well, a lot of nasty things have been said during this campaign. But pictures are better than words because some words are big and hard to understand
Peter
Peter: Hey, Lois, what's with the sign?
Lois: Peter we discussed this, I'm running for school board. You never listen to me.
Peter: Oh yeah, I remember. Hey Cleveland, hey Quagmire. ... Hey, Lois, what's with the sign?
Peter [at the debate]: Well, I-I have always cared deeply about young people. As a rich college bound student I once joined some underprivileged youths in saving a community center from being converted into a shopping mall. (crowd cheers)
Lois: Peter, that wasn't you. That was Adolfo "Shabba-Doo" in Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo! You watched that last night... (crowd boos)
When I'm done, our students will be so smart, they'll be able to program their VCRs without spilling piping hot gravy all over myself
Peter
There's quite a crowd outside. I haven't seen pandemonium like this since Ridiculous Day down at the deli, where prices were so low, they were ridiculous
Cleveland
Peter: You gonna eat that stapler?
Calahan: Umm... you can't eat a-
Peter: Wanna split it?
Chris: Are you sure this'll work?
Peter: Chris, this is just another one of your crazy schemes.
Chris: But this whole thing was your idea.
Peter: You'll find out.
Chris: Dad, you're not makin' any sense.
Peter: You just leave that to me
Lois, anyone who wouldn't pretend their own son is dyin' to get the Gumble's back on TV is a racist. There. I said it
Peter
