Well, if anyone knows how to pull out it's Quagmire!


Well, for the next 72 hours, I'm going to be harder to find than a nice cat.


Oh! There's a head in the freezer! Ooooh and sherbet!


It's probably nothing, but there's a stain on the rug in the shape of a little kid.


Never judge a book by it's cover, or a movie.


Peter: Now Quagmire, when you introduce us to the ladies by the pool, I'm a millionaire, Joe's a war hero, and Quagmire's Magic Johnson.
Cleveland: I own a lot of theaters, I hope you don't know much else about me.

Guys, I gotta leave. I got a nosebleed, and I don't work here.


The ceiling is a pool! The ceiling is a pool! Quagmire you gotta get this!


Cleveland: It's sad when planes 'splode.
Quagmire: What? Yeah I guess.

Brian: Hey did I tell you about Kim in marketing?
Boss: You mean my wife Kim?
Brian: I'm gonna go sell that condo!

But now that you mention it, your face looks like a used condom.


Brian, we can try to help you feel a little less repulsive. But we're not spending human money on a deformed animal!


Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

I forgot Yelp was a weapon for dumb people, you taught me something today Brian.