Well, if anyone knows how to pull out it's Quagmire!

Stewie

Well, for the next 72 hours, I'm going to be harder to find than a nice cat.

Brian

Oh! There's a head in the freezer! Ooooh and sherbet!

Cleveland

It's probably nothing, but there's a stain on the rug in the shape of a little kid.

Joe

Never judge a book by it's cover, or a movie.

Peter

Peter: Now Quagmire, when you introduce us to the ladies by the pool, I'm a millionaire, Joe's a war hero, and Quagmire's Magic Johnson.
Cleveland: I own a lot of theaters, I hope you don't know much else about me.

Guys, I gotta leave. I got a nosebleed, and I don't work here.

Peter

The ceiling is a pool! The ceiling is a pool! Quagmire you gotta get this!

Peter

Cleveland: It's sad when planes 'splode.
Quagmire: What? Yeah I guess.

Brian: Hey did I tell you about Kim in marketing?
Boss: You mean my wife Kim?
Brian: I'm gonna go sell that condo!

But now that you mention it, your face looks like a used condom.

Quagmire

Brian, we can try to help you feel a little less repulsive. But we're not spending human money on a deformed animal!

Lois

Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

I forgot Yelp was a weapon for dumb people, you taught me something today Brian.

Stewie