You want me to be the one who says "Giggity" now?

Joe

Peter's a good friend. Not like Cleveland.

Quagmire

Or you can pull the hose out of the bucket and let the hose run free.

Peter

There are gaps in my knowledge. This is hardly news.

Peter

The secret to happiness is burying all your true feelings and living a life of bland compromise.

Lois

I love putting my hands down my pants when I'm on drugs.

Cleveland

And once again a Heavy Flow has ruined another lady's evening.

Wrestling Announcer

The only way to settle a family dispute is in the cage.

Peter

Meg: Trust me, I know more about getting bullied than anyone.
Peter: You do? How?

Can't you just go out there and pretend to have a good time?

Lois

Oh, my God! His chin does kinda look like nuts!

Quagmire

Karen Griffin: I'm just joshing, kid. Auntie's not a biscuit bumper.
Meg: I'm not either.

Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

Bill Clinton: All right, are you ready for another round of N.A.F.T.A
Lois Griffin: What does N.A.F.T.A. mean?
Bill Clinton: 'Nother Afternoon of F****** That Ass!