Family Guy Quotes
You're like all the worst parts of a girlfriend.Brian
There's nothing worse than grocery shopping the day before Thanksgiving.Lois
Success is being true to yourself.Lois
This is why you're so great, dad. You don't pretend to be someone you're not. You don't care what anyone thinks.Chris
I thought you were this wordly, sophisticated guy, but you're just a fraud. Like Moses.Chris
TV is how stupid losers spend their time.Peter
We're a team like fish and chips and fat guys.Quagmire
I can't go to jail. They'll razz me good on account of my belly.Peter
If cellphones worked, every movie would be two minutes long.Quagmire
What if God is a serial killer? He lowers the average lifespan of humans to 65.Peter
I'm as creative as the first spider to spin a web.Peter
Brian: OMG, Stewie. What are you doing in the toilet with the lid closed?
Stewie: Ted R. says this is where a piece of crap has to live.