Family Guy

Sundays 9:00 PM on FOX
Family guy
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Meg, could you zip up your fly? That's kind of wafting over here.

Stewie

[meditating] I can be Giggity. I can be Goo.

Quagmire

Dammit Brian, you can't die! We were gonna do so many things together! We were gonna become windsurfers! I was gonna be a little better than you, but we were both gonna be good.

Stewie

Peter: Aren't you supposed to be running?
Chicken: Don't talk to me. You have a bad reputation in the chicken community.

Lois: Last night was the best sex I ever had.
Peter: Me too. We haven't done it like that since we were engaged, but allowed to sleep with other people.
Lois: What are you talking about?

Man: You renounced your citizenship?
Peter: Oh, I did that on the Italian "Shut-up-a-You-Facebook."

Meg: Chris, you have my back, right?
Chris: I don't know. [lifts up his shirt and sees his back covered with bacne] Yeah.

Meg: He's going to kill me! I can already picture my funeral!
[cutaway to a graveside service, Peter runs in and throws Meg's dead corpse under another casket]
Peter: Thanks, didn't want to pay for the hole.

Ida: Ok, you guys. Where should we start looking for Glen?
Peter: Well, sometimes Quagmire likes to hang out under all the clutter in my garage, so why don't we just start sorting stuff and throwing stuff away, but obviously checking with me first before you throw stuff away.

Sonja: Giggity.
Quagmire: That's my word.

Teacher at a PTA meeting: So, in short; your kids are all doing great. Keep reading to them every night and I think we're going to have a great year. So, unless there's any questions, thank you all for coming.
Cheetah: Eh, yeah... I noticed the hot lunch menu doesn't feature any gazelle.

Her voice! It's like God sneezing!

Chip
Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 1919 in total

Family Guy Quotes

North Dakota, we're not even the best Dakota!

Peter

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

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