You're dad doesn't wear this Dickie anymore? That's crazy. Why would anyone get rid of a perfectly good Dickie?

Joe

You want the media to go away? Just mention black on black crime.

Cleveland

I'm just saying. It's no surprise that justice isn't colorblind.

Brian

I don't think it's lost on any of us that the laws are writte on white paper.

Brian

Don't worry, Mr. Griffin. You're every bit as sympathetic as this chubby-cheeked coco angel.

Peter's Lawyer

Joe: Public opinion has shifted, and the boys upstairs said they can no longer ignore it.
Peter: Who the hell are the boys upstairs?

Lois, I am an unelected vigilante and take my job very seriously.

Peter

You don't have to win to have fun.

Joe

See, we're all terrible people inside.

Lois

Peter, face it. Without Quagmire, we're boring.

Joe

You want me to be the one who says "Giggity" now?

Joe

Peter's a good friend. Not like Cleveland.

Quagmire

Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice little story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protagonist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? No, no, you deserve some time off

Stewie