You're dad doesn't wear this Dickie anymore? That's crazy. Why would anyone get rid of a perfectly good Dickie?

Joe

You want the media to go away? Just mention black on black crime.

Cleveland

I'm just saying. It's no surprise that justice isn't colorblind.

Brian

I don't think it's lost on any of us that the laws are writte on white paper.

Brian

Don't worry, Mr. Griffin. You're every bit as sympathetic as this chubby-cheeked coco angel.

Peter's Lawyer

Joe: Public opinion has shifted, and the boys upstairs said they can no longer ignore it.
Peter: Who the hell are the boys upstairs?

Lois, I am an unelected vigilante and take my job very seriously.

Peter

You don't have to win to have fun.

Joe

See, we're all terrible people inside.

Lois

Peter, face it. Without Quagmire, we're boring.

Joe

You want me to be the one who says "Giggity" now?

Joe

Peter's a good friend. Not like Cleveland.

Quagmire

Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

Hi, I'm Wilford Brimley and I have diabetes. It hurts me to pee and it causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe and took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I find out my wife has been dead for six years. Who the hell did I hit?

Wilford Brimley