Family Guy Quotes
Lois: Oh I'm not doing anything special, just sitting here with the baby.
Stewie: Screw you too.
Peter, are you just trying to take a knee until the end of the show? Peter that's not gonna work, you can't just --Lois
Chris: It's made of skittles! You want to eat the baby together on the way home?
Lois: Yeah, I'd like that.
Chris: What should I do dad??
Peter: I don't know -- where's that girlfriend of yours, she seems cool?
AHHHHH, my morning scream. AHHHHH! Heather's gone!Chris
Chris: Hey Heather I made your favorite cookies, now I want to hear about your day.
Peter: Hey Lois I heard Katherine Heigl likes to french kiss.
Lois: Oh my god, Chris treats that pile of junk better than Peter treats me!
Lois: I thought you said you'd take care of it!
Peter: I did. He slept with it, now he'll slowly grow to hate it for the next 20 years.
Your kid's got a walk in closet?! Two of mine gotta sleep in the car!Cleveland
Just last week I let you watch me complain after I ate too many hot wings.Peter
There's nothing here, besides a weird life-sized doll made out of all the stuff that was stolen.Peter
One day a rain will come and wash all the scum off the streets.Joe
You go home and tell your mother, she's supposed to be a parent, not a friend.Peter