Family Guy

Family Guy Season 4 Quotes (Page 10)

Season 4 Episode 8: "8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter"

Stewie: You know what I do Meg? I spit in your mouth while you sleep
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Meg: I can't believe he's over me.
Mort: I can't believe I'm out 34 grand!
Peter: I can't believe it's not butter! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Stick around, more Family Guy coming up
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: Here honey, I got you this greeting card.
Lois: "I'm sorry I sold our daughter into slavery."
Peter: Yeah, it was really hard to find one of those in English
 • Rating: Unrated

Stewie [to Meg]: So, umm...this is uhh..awkward but uhh..have we ever actually, you know, met? I mean I don't even know, say for example, if you have a room up there. You know? A room? I have a room. You know Meg if you kill yourself now you'll probably get a full page in the yearbook. So, umm...you know thats something to think abou..(burps)..oops just burped
 • Rating: Unrated

Quagmire: Hey Peter, uhh you have a card for if you transfered V.D. to somebody.
Peter: Uhh lets see here...uhh yep, "Sorry I accidentally gave you V.D."
Quagmire: Huh, that's all you have is accidental huh? All right I'll take it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cecilia: Neil is such an amazing guy. We just make an absolutely perfect couple.
Meg: You know...Neil liked me first and I was gonna go out with him when I was ready to settle for him. Get your own spaz!
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Stewie: Yes! I'm going to wow her tonight Rupert, I'm going to be cooler than Brian when he hangs out at the bowling alley.
Brian: That's what I love about high school girls... I keep geting older, they stay the same age, hehehe, yes they do, yes they do...
 • Rating: Unrated

Lois: I never thought finding a babysitter would be so hard.
Stewie: Yes, a shame you weren't more discerning when you picked that happening Bruce Jenner hairdo
 • Rating: Unrated

Liddane: Hi, gorgeous man!
Stewie: Oh, you! Must I lock up your tongue with the rest of the silver?
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 7: "Brian the Bachelor"

Brian: I guess you can't judge a Brooke by her cover. [Laughs] You can cut that out right? Oh, and maybe you can cut out when I said junk earlier, the whole Chevy Chase thing. Seems like he's probably the kind of guy that would sue, he's gotta have no money left
 • Rating: Unrated

Stewie: How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice little story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protagonist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? No, no, you deserve some time off
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Brooke: Glen, will you accept this rose?
Quagmire: Really? After I drugged you and tried to have sex with your unconscious body?
Brooke: What?
Quagmire: Yes
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stewie: Oh, I know it hurts now Brian, but look at the bright side, you have some new material for that novel you've been writing. You know, the novel you've been working on. You know, the...the one, uh, you been working on for three years. You know, the...the novel. Mm, got something new to write about now. You know, maybe...uh, maybe a main character gets into a relationship, suffers a little heart break. Something like uh, what...what you been, you just been through. Draw from the real life experience. Little uh, little heart break. You know...work it into the story. Make those characters a little more three dimensional. Little, uh, richer experience for the reader. Make those second hundred pages really keep the reader guessing, what's going to happen. Some twists and turns. Little epilogue, everybody learns the hero's journey isn't always a happy one. Oh, I look forward to reading it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Chris: Doctor, I need you to get rid of this zit.
Doctor: Oh my, that's a nasty one. I bet the other kids all call you zit face.
Chris: No.
Doctor: Pus peak?
Chris: No.
Doctor: Papa zit?
Chris: No.
Doctor: Fat ass?
Chris: Well, yeah
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 4 Episode 6: "Petarded"

Stewie: Hey Chris? What ever happened to Geena Davis? She used to be in movies but she's not in movies anymore. She's attractive enough but when she smiles you see too much gum. Not enough tooth to gum ratio. Chris? Ah I'll tell you tomorrow!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: Don't say retard Chris, we prefer to be called little people
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Joe: So, what can I do for you Peter?
Peter: Well Joe, I need to talk to you about something kind of personal.
Joe: Shoot.
Peter: Well, you know, I took this test and, uh, it sorta turns out that I'm technically mentally retarded. And, um, i just wanted to ask, ya know, how do you deal with it?
Joe: Deal with what?
Peter: You know, with being retarded.
Joe: Peter, I'm not retarded, I'm handicapped.
Peter: Oh, well now you're just splitting hairs
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lois: Okay here we go, "What color is a fire truck?"
Peter: Aww, oh God I always get these. Umm..okay..uhh..all right.. fire truck.. fire truck fire truck fire truck fire truck. What color are those red fire trucks? Uhh.. Oh god I can picture them now...all red and everything
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Brian: Uh, Peter according to this you're not a genius. In fact you're mentally retarded.
Peter: Oh yeah? Well would a mentally retarded guy have hired a bulldozer with a drunk driver to level half of his house in celebration of his fantastic test results?
Brian: Uh, maybe.
Peter: Oh
 • Rating: Unrated

Chris: My dad is smarter than your dad.
Meg: We have the same dad, idiot!
Chris: Yeah, but mine's smarter!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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