Family Guy

Family Guy Season 8 Quotes (Page 3)

Season 8 Episode 16: "April in Quahog"

Stewie: Yeah that's right. You buy your kid ridiculously homoerotic dolls and then ask what happened. Yep, your gay son is on you, buddy. Explain that one to your god.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tommy Lee: Everyone's special.
Peter: Rock drummer Tommy Lee!
Tommy Lee: And if you're wife ever tells you you're not special, punch her right in her hepatitis.
Peter: Thanks rock drummer Tommy Lee!
Tommy Lee: Hey, you know what else is really cool? Having sex with sun glasses on.
Peter: I have a lot of things to try now.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tricia Takanawa: I'm standing here with Mr. Hawking, the first white man I've ever met who knows math better than me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 8 Episode 15: "Brian Griffin's House of Payne"

TV Exec: Brian, we're really excited about the ratings, we're just disappointed how low they are.
 • Rating: Unrated

James Woods: Hey guys, the chimp just ripped the other girl's boob off. Please tell me you got that on camera.
 • Rating: Unrated

TV Exec: We thought it would be a lot funnier if it was a sitcom.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elijah Wood: I discovered a much more precious element. I discovered dad-mium.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Charlie Sheen: You're always saying our show sucks. Let's see yours.
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: So... question. How long has Stewie been unconcious?
Meg: Oh my god, Chris, he knows. Dad, I'm so sorry we should have told someone but we were too scared. I wanted to take him to the hospital, but Chris wouldn't let me.
Peter: Good Chris. I've taught you well. You have the right instincts. When you were babies, I used to knock you kids out every month or so. Some times by accident. Sometimes when the Patriots lost. You just gotta cover it up and everything works it self out. Meg, this is a list of hats. I need these by 4 o'clock.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

TV Exec #1: Did everyone else feel it?
TV Exec #2: I felt it.
TV Exec #3: I felt it too.
TV Exec #4: I felt whatever the most senior executive in this room felt.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Chris: Anything I could do to make your life easier.
Lois: Well you could always grab the vacuum and clean the living room floor.
Chris: Sure, I'll take care of that. Are you running off to your job?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lois: Brian, your script... it was enchanting. This brian griffin? I've never met this Brian Griffin. I would have told you last night, but I was 100% sure you ripped it off. After spending the last 18 hours on the Internet and in libraries trying to find traces of it somewhere, I couldn't find a thing.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws. I call it Big Jaws.
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Season 8 Episode 14: "Peter-assment"

Angela: I have nothing to live for.
Peter: Sure you do. Someday a white man's gonna to be elected President again.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Quagmire: Hi Angela. I'm Peter's friend, Glen Quagmire. Thanks for having me in your home and I would have had sex with you but Peter neglected to tell me you were a dumpster fire. Some friend, huh?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: I don't want to have to take off my clothes because I'm self-conscious about my Congressman Barney Frank body.
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: I really hope there's a hungry horse back there.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mayor West: Every Friday night, I'm a clearance-sale area rug.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Peter: Richard. Hey Richard. Can I get your uatograph?
Richard Dreyfus: Fine. You have a pen and paper?
Peter: What do I look like a Staples? I don't carry that stuff around.
Richard Dreyfus: Look I'm sorry I can't help you.
Peter: What you're too big and famous to go to the corner drug store and pick up a pen and paper and possibly some other groceries I need and come back and sign several things for me? You're a jerk.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Brian: Don't you think it's too soon for a play about Terri Schiavo?
Chris: Or too late?
 • Rating: Unrated

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