Family Guy

Family Guy Season 8 Quotes (Page 4)

Season 8 Episode 12: "Go Stewie Go"

Lois: I bet you taste like Mountain Dew and Starburst.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Stewie: A perfectly normal little boy! Who just happens to be a transvestite! Which ... begins with the letter T.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Julie: I'm not a lesbian.
Stewie [as Karina]: I'm not either.
Brian: What are you exactly?
 • Rating: Unrated

Stewie: I think I'm in love with Julie. Whenever I talk to her, it makes my bandaid start to peel off.
Brian: What are you talking about?
Stewie: I'm talking about the thing. I gotta hide it for the cameras. Instead of tucking, I just push it in like a button and put a bandaid over it.
Brian: What kind of bandaid?
Stewie: A big one, big giant one. Nah, just one of those dots you put on a shot.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: She ain't what she used to be. Once you get those pants off it's like two sagging breast hams and a slice of pizza.
Lois: Thank you, Peter, that makes me feel terrific.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: Lois, you have a gray hair.
Lois: What?
Peter: Inch and a half left of your part.
Lois: Oh my god, you're right.
Peter: You know I don't mind so much that you're aging, it's just the way you're shoving it down my throat.
Lois: Screw you Peter.
Peter: Wow, not today.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 8 Episode 11: "Extra Large Medium"

Peter: Does he have maybe a thinner, hotter daughter?
Joe: Well, yes, but she's only 12.
Peter: Like a young 12 or a "she eats a lot of milk product so she got her boos early" 12? Which is a real thing by the way.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: I beleive I am psyhic. My first prediction is that i'm either going to fly or ruin that family's picnic!
[runs and tries to fly, crashing on family's picnic]
Woman: Hey you ruined our picnic!
Peter: Psychic!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Brian: I'm going to prove to you that there is no such thing as someone that is psychic and that with the most minimal training and the right set of buzz words, anyone can appear to be psychic, even a complete boob like Peter. Watch this.
Peter: Excuse me, ma'am. I'm psychic and I'm getting a strong feeling from you. Do you have a watch or clock that no longer works?
Woman: Wow. I used to have a watch that broke!
Brian: You see just by asking very general questions that would apply to most people, a person can appear to have inside knowledge about you.
Peter: I'm also sensing that you have a dead relative.
Woman: My husband died of cancer last year.
Peter: Oh my god, awesome. I'm sensing some other bad stuff.
Woman: My daughter was just in an accident.
Peter: Sweet! High five!
Woman: You're awful.
Peter: You don't want to hear the truth, don't come to the park.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stewie [in song]: And her hugs are so delighting. What makes them nice is that they got a little spice is that they're tighter than a vice and they go on for an hour.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stewie: I'm guessing this one owned a bunny, but not anymore.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stewie: That's the girl?
Chris: Yeah, isn't she special?
Stewie: That's the way the state of Rhode Island would put it. There's something up with her, isn't there?
Chris: Yeah, she has down syndrome.
Stewie: Okay, well there we go.
Chris: She's so sweet and doesn't she have the beautiful eyes?
Stewie: Well, the spacing seems a tad off, but individually they're not awful.
 • Rating: 4.4 / 5.0

Stewie: Hey, Chris, did you know your bacne spells Citibank in Braille?
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Adam West: Would you answer one question for me?
Psychic: Yes.
Adam West: Thank you so much.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Search Party Leader: We're still very optimistic we're going to find these kids and we just want to urge everyone not to give up hope.
Joe: Alright, everyone. We are officially looking for corpses. Repeat, this is now a recovery effort. We are officially looking for corpses so let's get back out there bring back those dead bodies.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 8 Episode 11: "Dial Meg for Murder"

Mort: What kind of birdhouse can you build with popsicles, roofies, and a rubber mallet?
Herbert: It's for a rare African bird called "none your business."
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Black Inmate [to Meg]: Did you also get caught trying to vote in Ohio?
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Peter: Hold on, Lois, this is some serious parenting, I'm gonna go put on my Cosby sweater.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Stewie: Wow, Meg's one of those crazy chicks that hooks up with an even crazier guy... cuts to Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 8 Episode 10: "Big Man on Hippocampus"

Brian: Having sex with Quagmire is inevitable, like a fat guy ordering dessert when everyone else wants to leave.
Waiter: Would anyone like dessert?
Man: I couldn't eat another thing.
Woman: I gotta get home for the sitter.
Fat Man: I'll have the souffle.
Waiter: That takes 45 minutes.
Fat Man: That's okay.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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