How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother

(about picking world peace over his suits) I'm gonna stop you right there. It's the suits. Come on, Lily, get your head out of your ass.

Barney

To score would be just fine, but I would rather be dressed to the nines.

Barney

This is unbelievable, but you just picked out the three things in this entire room that are my roommates.

Cindy

And her ass - I'd wear that thing for a hat.

Lily

No! My suit gave its life for this cause and I will not rest till she is mine.

Barney

Tim: Your suits death is another suits life.
Barney: Do it.
Tim: You're doing the right thing.
(Barney sobs)
Tim: Please don't cry on this - it's silk.

Suits and insecure woman. I hate them I really just hate them.

Barney

Hey I'm not gay, but I'm gay for you.

Marshall

Hey look at me - I promise I will not fall in love with your roommate.

Ted

It's funny sometimes you walk into a place and you know you're exactly where you're supposed to be.

Ted

Awe you're so sweet, but, compare to that woman I'm like three day old garbage.

Lily

I'm going to be like, "drop the act baby doll daddy needs another gin and tonic".

Barney
Displaying quotes 145 - 156 of 267 in total

How I Met Your Mother Season 5 Quotes

Barney: Barney Stinson is back on the market. Mothers, lock up your daughters. Daughters, lock up your MILSWANCA's.
Marshall: MILSWANCA's?
Ted: Oh wait, I can get this. Mothers I'd Like to Sleep With and Never Call Again
Barney: Correct, circle gets a square

My panties would hit the floor so hard they'd end up halfway to China.

Robin
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