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How-i-met-your-mother

The camera loves me Robin - more than loves me the camera lusts me. The camera wants to put on some nice lingerie, pop in an Al Green CD, dim the lights, and do me as I lie there with my eyes closed.

Barney

Two months - my balls were blu - blu!

Marshall

It is physically impossible for me to take a bad picture - I don't know why, just ask God.

Barney

I've always looked drop dead stone cold amazing - unlike Marshall who always looked dead, stoned, and cold.

Barney

Oh Ted, here's another fun little trivia game it's called - name that bitch.

Lily

Let's take a little walk down random skank lane.

Lily

Ted, you were supposed to bring a cheesecake, but instead you bring two grocery bags and a woman we've never scene before.

Marshall

Well, you're in luck because mine's the tiniest, and the more you touch it, the softer it gets.

Barney

At least when I run out on a girl, I have the decency to sleep with her first. It's called manners.

Barney
Displaying quotes 91 - 99 of 267 in total