Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Phil: You're such a great mother. Sometimes I wish you were my mother.
Claire: Oh gosh. I'm already queasy.

I know I got a lot of baggage, but don't worry, I'm seeing a therapist. Just kidding. I'm fine.

Phil

Jay: Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven and landed on earth.
Gloria: I didn't... oh, because I'm an angel!

Cameron's moment went on for a really, really long time. Turns out I could've run to the party and made it back for the end of his moment.

Mitchell

Dude, you should label those sticks.

Dylan's band mate

I was gonna tell Claire about the dog. I was just waiting until she was in the right mood. Actually, I did get one right mood a couple nights ago... but I cashed that in for something else.

Phil

Phil: How did Scout get your bra?
Claire: Well, we were out on a date, and he has a really nice car, so — how do you think? He got it from the laundry basket.

Jay: It's just the doorbell.
Manny: Maybe a demon is ringing it!

Cameron: Did you hear that woman screaming my name?
Mitchell: That was Phil. He had a Red Bull.

Jay: What's up with the big sweater at a concert? Some sort of gay thing?
Mitchell: No, it's from this apres-ski party and... yes, it's some sort of gay thing.

Dylan: I don't think we'd like the same music.
Cam: Because I'm gay and only like show tunes?
Dylan: Because you're old.
Cam: Well, that hurt more, Dylan.

Phil: We're like two peas in a pod, or Siamese twins, a snake with two heads!
Claire: They've actually been all those things for Halloween.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 300 in total

Modern Family Season 1 Quotes

You're just mad at the old balls and chain.

Jay

Mitchell: Just the emerald city at the end of my yellow brick road
Cameron: Wow you did it
Mitchell: What?
Cameron: You made figure skating sound even gayer.