Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCModern Family Season 3 Quotes
Luke: How many moms does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Phil: How many?
Luke: None because she's got you to do that sucker.
Cam: Sweetie what's your name?
Girl: Blanche.
Cam: Shut up really? Mitchell would die.
Manny: Hello Ma'am, do you love Christmas?
Neighbor: Actually I'm Jewish.
Manny: Well then you must appreciate a good value.
For the record, I am not a neat freak. In fact in my first long term relationship I was the messy one, which is why she broke up with me...well...
Mitchell
I've always said that if my son thinks of me as one of his idiot friends, I've succeeded as a dad.
Phil
When I get home I'm gonna scrub this place like it's a crime scene, which it is because you murdered joy.
Cam
Jay, I'm gonna need you to cut me a check.
Manny
Consider yourself lucky you didn't just get, like, felt up by your mom.
Alex
Luke: The other day Uncle Mitchell brought over a bag of junk food so he and Cam could do a Jew fast.
Phil: Juice fast?
Luke: I'm pretty sure he said Jew.
Turns out I've had my super-Dunphy all along.
Claire
I let down my mom and dad today. And even worse, I let down my teacher.
Alex
Are you happy? You have reduced me to a person who eats a shoe.
Gloria [to Jay]
