Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

I think I may have been being too sexy.

Phil

I know a lot of people think I'm attracted to Jay because of his mind. But they're wrong. I'm attracted to him because he's sexy.

Gloria

I like big putts and I cannot lie.

Pepper

I wanted to tell Haley the dangers of starting a family too early but what could I say that couldn't have been said better by a screaming baby?

Claire

Maybe we can pump Marcus full of whatever we gave those bike riders.

Cam

It's like scrabble with Haley. After awhile you're just playing against yourself.

Alex

Mitchell: Suck it Nancy!
Pepper: I was just trying to help.

Son of a bitch you're an embarrassment! You're kicking up more sand than a sea turtle laying eggs.

Jay

Alex: You maybe wanna take a shift carrying this dry ice?
Gloria: No I just had a baby.
Alex: I watched you carry Manny to bed.

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