Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Claire: You don't make a shiv out of a knife.
Phil: yeah you make a shiv out of a rusty spoon or a shard of glass.
Claire: Or a human femur.
Phil: Exactly, be creative.

Ok on one hand I'm like ugh I have to pick up garbage all day and on the other hand I'm like wow look at me in orange!

Haley

Cats, now and forever. Well actually until next Thursday. It's been described as transcendent!

Cam

Manny: Does anyone care that I'm not from Mexico?
Luke: You keep saying that but we've never seen a birth certificate.

Let's get Phil-sical.

Phil

There's not one embarrassing photo of Haley. Even her mugshots were cut.

Alex

Cam: I'm a doer and an action taker. Sean Penn would play me in a movie about this. Or Anne Hathaway if they wanted a female driven vehicle.
Mitchell: And who would play your long suffering partner?
Cam: Julianne Moore either way.
Mitchell: I would totally see that. I would.

I have two brains in my body but I've never felt so dumb.

Gloria

For God's sake change out of those wingtips. You're a kid, not Nixon on the beach!

Jay [to Manny]

You're just mad because now you can't parade me around like some show pony. Oh don't deny it you bought the two day cushion.

Alex [to Claire]

What did I tell you, that place is like a gay bar with dumbbells.

Cam

It's kind of my lucky number. It's the year Footloose came out.

Phil
Displaying quotes 133 - 144 of 202 in total

Modern Family Season 4 Quotes

Haley: Don't dork up our room.
Alex: Don't slut up your college.

So what you're saying is you have a child shaped hole in your heart and you wanna stuff a cat into it.

Mitchell [to Cam]