NCIS
Mondays 9:00 PM on CBSPopular NCIS Quotes
McGee: Sleep deprivation affects high level cognitive functions, cardiovascular health, circulation.
Tony: You just Googled that on the ride over didn't you?
What I'd really like is a shower in private. I haven't had one of those since 1999.
Carter [to Torres]
Bishop: Gibbs, I was doing background on Anne Marshall and the situation she's in is completely unfair.
Gibbs: What situation?
Bishop: The only reason she can't practice law here is because West Virginia's bar doesn't reciprocate with California. So, her fifteen years of experience went to nothing just because she crossed state lines.
Gibbs: Bishop, focus on the case.
Bishop: It's not right, Gibbs. When troops fight for their country, their families do too. Anne Marshall, all the military spouses out there, who fights for them?
Gibbs: We do.
Bishop: Good, because I want to reach out to Joining Forces. It's an initiative that supports military veterans and their families. And...
Gibbs: I know what it is. I'm looking into it. I already made the call.
Abby: Gibbs! Trying to give me heart palpitations?
Gibbs: No. What've you got, Abbs?
Abby: Heart palpitations.
Tony: There's no way Petty Officer Muldoon would have taken him three shots to drop that guy. He would have nailed him on the first shot. He's a pro!
Leah: Yeah, well pros do miss on the first shot. You sure as hell did. Listen. Tony. You're clearly somewhere else and I'm starting to think that I should be too.
Tony: Oh no. I'm so sorry. Please, give me a second chance.
Leah: Here's my email.
Tony: Oh. Okay. When can I see you again?
Leah: Never. I just really want to know how this case you've been talking about for the last hour, turns out.
Bishop's Brother [regarding Ellie's boyfriend]: We just want to make sure he's not a deranged serial killer!
Bishop's Other Brother: Or a vegan!
Ducky: My mind has been scattered with grandfatherly worries.
Gibbs: Grandfather?
Ducky: Mr. Palmer has declared when the child is of speaking age, she will call me "Grand-Ducky".
We found him, Gibbs, but someone else found him first.
Bishop [to Gibbs]
You do not want a staring contest. I will bury you.
Jack [to Gibbs]
McGee: What did Bishop say?
Gibbs: We should go to church.
Torres: Oh, my mom would be so happy right now…
DiNozzo Senior: It’s about Judith. Your ex-lover.
Gibbs [chokes]: My what?!
Parents always love their kids. No matter what happens.
Gibbs
