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New-girl

He's a player. Why would a good looking person ever become a doctor?

Schmidt

He's talking to a woman with a sexuality I won't jump to conclusions about.

Jess

Nick: Because college is so expensive...
Angie: I'm a stripper.

Everybody hates the Jews! Your mom's in the majority! I'll convert to Indianism!

Schmidt

Winston: The phone?
Jess: I don't know...looks like a meth-head sandwich to me!

You my boo and I been missing you. I been missing you oh so long.

Schmidt

I'd put it in a bowl and eat your hair.

Schmidt

Winston: There are parts of my butt that only a tub can clean.
Jess: Ew, but okay!

Nick: I don't get it. Is this bath water?
Schmidt: Might as well be; it's rosé.

I can't believe I have to have feelings to have good sex. I thought I'd be dead before that happened.

Schmidt

Jess: You care about burritos more than my children?
Nick: You're putting me in a tough spot right now!

Schmidt: Would I have to put my legs in the stirrups?
Melissa: Why would you even ask that?
Schmidt: I'm asking more so out of curiosity than fear. Hashtag, excitement.

Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 193 in total

New Girl Season 2 Quotes

I feel like Russell Crowe in every movie he's ever done.

Nick

I panicked and I grabbed the hat. I should have grabbed the yoyo or the slap bracelet and now all I have is this stupid hat.

Jess
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