New Girl

Tuesdays 9:00 PM on FOX
New girl
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I had only sari related sexual ideas. Monsoon Bedding, Best Erotic Maribone Hotel,Slumdoggy Style Millionaire!

Schmidt

We can form an Ocean's Twelve. I will be Brad Pitt. You will be the crafty Asian who does the flippies.

Schmidt

There's more to A Father's Love than just semen! Ew!

Jess

Let's concentrate on the smite later.

Schmidt

I should have brought my stethoscope. I'm seeing a lot of split ends. The cut is all wrong for the shape of its face.

Jess

He lures you in with his charm, his mustache, and his perfect hair!

Nick

Nick, please do not angry-fix the sink.

Schmidt

If you were a hat, you'd be a top hat. But like a really big Monopoly one. And I say that with deepest compliments.

Nick

I can't believe I'm the sober one. That's actually never happened before in my life.

Nick

Jess: But I need like a backstory, like why am I mad at the can?
Angie: The can is your ex-boyfriend and he did not respect your space and thought that your arts and crafts section of your house was ridiculous.
Jess: What?!
Angie: Yeah, enough?

Winston: So that means you're gonna do whatever I say?
Schmidt: I mean as long as it's gangsta...or not. It doesn't have to be.

I wanna be the black friend you never had.

Schmidt
Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 193 in total

New Girl Season 2 Quotes

I panicked and I grabbed the hat. I should have grabbed the yoyo or the slap bracelet and now all I have is this stupid hat.

Jess

Jess: I thought we talked about you not wearing your shower diaper in the kitchen!
Schmidt: Excuse me? Do you think this has been easy? To wash myself wearing a penis cast all summer?