Tuesdays 9:00 PM on FOX
New-girl

I feel like Russell Crowe in every movie he's ever done.

Nick

I know this isn't gonna end well, but the middle part is gonna be awesome.

Nick

Schmidt, that is melon-flavored liquer!That is 4-proof! That is safe to drink while you're pregnant!

Nick

They threw in something called 'septic enzymes,' which I don't know what they are but you are definitely not supposed to get them in your eyes.

Nick

I'm a small business owner!

Nick

What happened to guys in this bar? Did they open a bus station next door?

Jess

I used to just think if I was proposed to I would notice it was happening.

Cece

I wish I knew what was going on in Nick's head. He's like a...grumpy mystery.

Jess

Ten years? You guys are like Bert and Ernie.

Jess

If somebody walked in here and saw us, they'd be like, "Look at these two totally normal roommates. I bet they never sucked face." But we did. You sucked my face.

Jess

Schmidt: Does it say "share stuff" in the Constitution of America? No, it does not. Nicholas, what does it say?
Nick: Don't share stuff.

Destiny might be a lady, but victory has a penis.

Schmidt
Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 193 in total

Want more New Girl?

Sign up for our daily newsletter and receive the latest tv news delivered to your inbox for free!

New Girl Season 2 Quotes

You are a gynecologist and a lesbian. This makes you a vagenius.

Schmidt

I panicked and I grabbed the hat. I should have grabbed the yoyo or the slap bracelet and now all I have is this stupid hat.

Jess
x Close Ad