Jess: Do you want to know what I'm wearing under this shirt?
Nick: Yeah, sure.
Jess: An invisible shirt.

I'll be back faster than you can say, "Damn, Winston, I took care of myself already."

Winston

Jess: Where are your nipples, man?
Schmidt: I'll never tell!

I don't know what "mazel tov" means, but it doesn't sound good.

Nick

Let the Decider decide! I am not the Suggester!

Nick

Jess: Nick kissed me?
Cece: WHAAAAAAAAAA?

Cece: I'm still marrying an Indian guy.
Schmidt: Sure, but you went home with a Jew in a turban. I'm just saying.

I just wanted to listen to Taylor Swift alone!

Jess

Get your crap together, India. Schmidt... out!

Schmidt

Sam: Ice it, 24 hours. Keep it elevated.
Nick: He even exits cool

Schmidt: Hey, M. Night Shyamalan. I've got a twist ending for you: shut up

  • Permalink: Shut up
  • Added:

I always thought we'd be going bowling before we want to an Indian marriage convention.

Sam

New Girl Season 2 Quotes

I panicked and I grabbed the hat. I should have grabbed the yoyo or the slap bracelet and now all I have is this stupid hat.

Jess

Jess: I thought we talked about you not wearing your shower diaper in the kitchen!
Schmidt: Excuse me? Do you think this has been easy? To wash myself wearing a penis cast all summer?