This coat has clean lines and pockets that just don't quit.


Edgar: Oh my God, you smell like waffles.
Edgar's girlfriend: Want to eat me up?
Edgar: Yes, I do.

Don't ask about the duffle bag, bitch!

Edgar's mom

You're the deer! He wants to kill you! You're the deer!


They make shoes for your penis! They're called pants!


Winston said you make fun of my gremlin toenails. That you call them clickety-clacks or centaur boots.


Schmidt: A pogo is what your friends talk about when you leave the room.
Cece: Oh like your barnacle toenails?

What are you, the doodle police?


I know what my pogo is. It's that I dance like a sea snake.


Winston: I wanted to talk to you about the regrettable contact between Cece's...her down there and
Schmidt: You practically shish-kebabed her.

Cece:Do you have any agave?
Schmidt: We might have some pressed lentils syrups in the mixin's cabinet.

He was a merman. He was the last of his kind and he needed a mother for his merchild. He was not a mergentleman.

Girl in the class

New Girl Season 2 Quotes

I panicked and I grabbed the hat. I should have grabbed the yoyo or the slap bracelet and now all I have is this stupid hat.


Jess: I thought we talked about you not wearing your shower diaper in the kitchen!
Schmidt: Excuse me? Do you think this has been easy? To wash myself wearing a penis cast all summer?