Popular Scrubs Quotes
Billy: Go travelin' to Texas, you know? Go line dancing with some married women that wish they weren't married. You never know what life would put in your lap when you open your arms and embrace it!
J.D.: "You'll be surprised what'll fall in your lap if you open up and embrace life..."
Carla: Okay, maybe I'm guilty of a lie of omission.
Turk: 'Cause you're a lie omitter!
Dr. Miller: Now this is your big shot, so if you don't want me to throw you out of here, you've gotta get through this whole procedure without making a single sex joke.
Todd: No problem.
Dr. Miller: All right, to really get at this, I think we need to go in from behind.
Cut to...
Dr. Miller: AND STAY OUT!
Todd: Totally worth it!
Dr. Cox: Hey, Jordan.
Jordan: You know, it's funny - I can't even be pissed and want you to die, screaming in agony, as two horses pull you apart when I'm looking at this beautiful face.
Mr. Milligan: Just been so tired lately. Yesterday, when the little man and I were wrestling, he-he dropped me in ten seconds.
Tyler: I got him with a power kick.
Elliot: So, I let myself get taken advantage of, sometimes; you know. I mean, big deal - how do you make friends?
Jordan: Look, I've seen your type before. You're that girl that convinced herself she wanted to lose her virginity at a frat party while another guy was asleep in the room.
Elliot: Chaz really cared for me.
Jordan: Ah, I know; and I'm sure you have a cool "Jungle Party" t-shirt to prove it. Now, can we please finish this physical? And, I can't pee right now, so you'll have to go for me
Elliot: I guess I just didn't think I was doing anything wrong.
J.D.: Well obviously you did, or you woulda told me about it from the beginning.
J.D.'s Narration: That one had to sting. I really wanna look back and see if it landed, but I'll have to go back to sad face first... Oh, it landed!
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Reid, I need to get Enid a birthday present.
Elliot: Ahh! When's her birthday?
Dr. Kelso: I think it was last week.
Elliot: Um... well, a scarf is always nice.
Dr. Kelso: That's perfect. It's simple; it's elegant; and it'll hide her turkey neck.
J.D.: I'm gonna have a good year, aren't I?
Dr. Cox: Anything can happen.
Oh, my God! I'm gagging and vomiting at the same time. I'm... I'm gavomiting!
Dr. Cox
Dr. Kelso: But lately, it seems all people see when they look in my direction is some old guy. Hell, just last week, I was in the mall hanging out at Brookstone, and some kid asked me if I was lost.
J.D.: Brookstone? Were you looking for gadgets, sir?
Dr. Kelso: If that's what you call trolling for mall ass, then yeah.
J.D.: Okay...
Turk: This is so unfair of Kelso. Everyone has gotta have a way of taking the edge off! You and I, we've got basketball. Nurse Roberts, she's got her stories.
Todd: Some guy named D.R.K. must love Miss PacMan, 'cause he's got the high score of 41 million.
Turk: D.R.K.? Dr. Kelso!
Todd: Oh, Miss Pacman, I would sex that bow right off your head.
