Scrubs

Scrubs Season 3 Quotes (Page 7)

Season 3 Episode 20: "My Fault"

J.D.: Oh, just make sure you got all your things out of my bedroom, okay?
Danni: I put all my stuff at Danny's house three days ago.
 • Rating: Unrated

Carla: Everything's wrong again!
Turk: Baby, it's cool. We're meeting with the cake guy tomorrow.
Carla: Nothing's cool! Nothing's cool!
Turk: Okay, okay-
Carla: The centerpieces are supposed to be cupids, but they have no arrows, so now they're just fat babies. I have 187 people who RSVP'd "yes" for a 125-seat wedding. Plus, I have to wear my grandmother's choker, but with my hair up it makes me look like one of those African tribeswomen with a coil around my neck!
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk: Close your eyes.
Carla: Okay.
Turk: Take a deep breath... See how good that feels? Now take another one... Take another one.
Carla: Are you watching my boobs?
Turk: Deep breath! Nice!
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox: I'm not even sweatin'! Because, honest to God, what kind of gullible chump would go ahead and spend a thousand dollars on some silly scan if he's feeling perfectly fine?
Mr. Corman: Hello, Laverne! Shirle!
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: She's quite mad, you know. I hope she doesn't rub off on you.
Todd: Oh!... Too easy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Corman: Why should I even listen to you? The last time I was here, you tried to torture me to prove a point. Dr.- Dr.- Dr.-
Dr. Cox: Cox.
Mr. Corman: Mengele!
Dr. Cox: Uh!
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Miller: Now this is your big shot, so if you don't want me to throw you out of here, you've gotta get through this whole procedure without making a single sex joke.
Todd: No problem.
Dr. Miller: All right, to really get at this, I think we need to go in from behind.
Cut to...
Dr. Miller: AND STAY OUT!
Todd: Totally worth it!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Janitor: For three years I've been watching you pine after Blonde Doctor, and I gotta tell you, everyone is sick of it - "Will they? Won't they? Looks like they're going to! Oooh, the last second, something might- oooh oooh oooh!" Come on! Enough already! I mean, you guys aren't exactly Ross and Rachel.
J.D.: Who?
Janitor: Dr. Ross, and Rachel from Bookkeeping.
J.D.: Mmm.
Janitor: Why don't you just let her be happy with... stunningly handsome, full-lipped guy.
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.'s Narration: In the heat of battle, it's important to hold your ground.
Mr. Corman: Doctor.
Dr. Cox: Well, now, Bobbo, you hooked him, you got him in the boat, but he still got away!
J.D.'s Narration: Because victory can be snatched away at the last second.
Dr. Kelso: Mr. Corman, your full body scan is on the house.
Mr. Corman: I'm listening.
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk: Baby, I don't get it. Last night I was the golden boy, and now I'm fat flap guy. Why would Dr. Miller turn on me? I've been great in surgery, I've been nice to her... she's coming to the wedding!
Carla: No, she's not.
Turk: What?
Carla: I un-invited her.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elliot: You guys! Guess what. I just asked Sean if he would move in with me and... tell 'em what you said!
Sean: "Yes!"
Elliot: Isn't that great!
Janitor: That is great! Isn't that great?
J.D.'s Narration: Full-lipped bastard.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Corman: Thanks for the lift. Because, for some reason on Tuesdays, my feet just swell up like Jiffy Pop bags. I'm sure it'll show up on the scan. Oh, if anything turns up green, it's probably an emerald that I swallowed from my mother's jewelry box when I was five. Gee, I'd like to get that back to her...
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Corman: Hey, what's going on?
Dr. Cox: Zip it. I know a shortcut.
Mr. Corman: Help! I'm getting chair-jacked!
 • Rating: Unrated

Carla: Okay, why are you mad? You told me to un-invite people!
Turk: So, without asking, you went to my new boss and told her you didn't want her to come to the wedding.
Carla: Nooo. I told her we didn't want her to come.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Corman: Listen, I appreciate the lunch. But are you actually trying to convince me, an admittedly frugal hypochondriac, not to get a free full body scan?
Dr. Cox: Mr. Corman, you're not dying of anything! Although if you do try to swipe one more bite of my lamb medallions I will be forced to kill you.
Mr. Corman: Well, look who never learned to share.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox: Listen to me! I am not losing a bet to Bob Kelso!
Mr. Corman: All this concern about my health and my well-being, and it's about a bet!? You know what, that's a pretty reprehensible thing to do! Well, if you'll excuse me, I have a full body scan to take!... You drove me here. I'd like to see a dessert menu, please.
 • Rating: Unrated

Baker: Miss Espinosa, it was a little difficult changing your cake at the last minute, but I was able to make it non-dairy like you requested.
Carla: My Uncle Ramon thanks you, and the rest of the people at table 3 thank you even more.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox: Not yet, you don't.
Mr. Corman: For Pete's sake... Will you leave me alone?
Dr. Cox: Look! This baby would mess with a normal person's mind. So please hear me when I say that if you get this scan, it will ruin you. The next year of your life is gonna be a series of endless tests, and I'll do whatever it takes to keep that from happening to you. Even if it means giving you free medical treatment the rest of your life.
Mr. Corman: How can I believe that you even care about me?
Dr. Kelso comes in.
Dr. Kelso: How are we doing, Mr. Corman?
Dr. Cox: Oh, uh, Bob. We, uh, we just had our scan. You win.
Dr. Kelso: And...?
Dr. Kelso holds his hand up and Dr Cox kisses his ring.
Dr. Kelso: Now, Perry, I know that was our first date, but next time, don't be afraid to put a little feeling into it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Sean: Hey! So, U-Haul is parked outside, everything I own is in there. Well, except for this half of my salad tongs, but I-I was using it to scratch myself on the way over.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Kelso: If you're wondering what this is, Perry, it's a list of the hundreds of people who've already signed up for our full body scan.
Dr. Cox: Well, bully for you, there, Bobbo.
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite "Scrubs" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!