Turk: Dr. Miller, look, it's a really small wedding, and you're an amazing boss, and I feel really bad about it, so...there's a wedding brunch tomorrow, and it's only for family and really close friends, and...well, we'd love for you to be there.
Dr. Miller: That would mean the world to me!
Turk: Okay, I didn't think you were gonna say yes. There's no brunch.

Turk: Hey. How's it going, Mr. Fitzpatrick?
Mr. Fitzpatrick: Actually, it's Father Fitzpatrick.
Carla: Could you do us a quick favor?

J.D.: I didn't steal Elliot from you, man! She just panicked 'cause you guys were moving in together!
Sean: I don't know, J.D...
J.D.: Sean, if you have any guts at all, you will show up at this wedding, take her into your... hairy arms, and tell her you want her back!... You should... probably shower first.

Tell me this, how do you not scare him when you go in there? Do you wear a nanny mask or do you just slap on a name tag that says "Hi I'm your Mommy?"

Dr. Cox

Oh my God that board meeting went on forever! It was so dull I had to read pamphlets just to stay awake. Good news is, don't have testicular cancer.

Jordan

Marco! The invite says no dates, man! NO dates!

Turk

Marko: Aw come on man! That was "When Harry Met Sally" - it was a classic!
Turk: Aww yeah dude, you know I was gonna rent that the other night but then I remembered I was a heterosexual.

J.D.: What the hell you doing with that guy?
Danni: I don't know. I thought it'd be cool to date a celebrity.
J.D.: He's not a celebrity!
J.D.'s Narration: Wait a second!
J.D.: Are you the Soup Nazi from 'Seinfeld'?
Larry: No.
J.D.: Say the soup thing.
Larry: No!
J.D.: Dammit!

J.D.'s Narration: Maybe I just don't feel I deserve someone as great as Elliot because I have low self-esteem.
Elliot: Do you know that you have really nice hands?
J.D.: "Nice"? Elliot, these are the hands of a god!
Elliot: Heh!
J.D.'s Narration: Fine, so it's not the self-esteem thing.

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