Scrubs

Scrubs Season 3 Quotes (Page 6)

Season 3 Episode 20: "My Fault"

J.D.'s Narration: She seems almost peaceful...
Danni: Later, butt-licks!
J.D.'s Narration: Maybe not.
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: How's the chicken today?
Carla: Oh, my God! Turk! What if someone's vegetarian!? I gotta go call the caterer!
Turk: Thank you. I just calmed her down.
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk: Please, man. I'm Christopher Duncan Turk.
Todd: Duncan?
J.D.: His dad loved doughnuts.
Turk: That's not true. Okay, you really need to stop saying that.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mr. Corman: Now, if you will excuse me, I've already talked to the insurance company, so there is nothing you can say that can stop me from doing this!
Dr. Cox: Now, Mr. Corman, apparently your insurance company's not gonna cover it.
Mr. Corman: Good day to you, sir.
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk: I'm ready to make the first incision.
Dr. Miller: Nah-uh! You get to retract the pannus.
Turk: You want me to hold the fat flaps?
Dr. Miller: More than anything in the world.
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.'s Narration: What does Sean have that I don't have?
Janitor: Don't compare yourself to him. He's better.
 • Rating: Unrated

Sean: Elliot listens to you, J.D. Why are you messing with her head?
Danni: It's 'cause he wants what he can't have.
J.D.: Okay, new rule! Hospitals are for doctors and sick people only! Okay?
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk: What's up with the white people on top?
Carla: Turk, they don't have tiny plastic interracial couples.
Baker: I'll just color it in with some chocolate frosting.
Turk: Oh, that's a great idea. Put 'em in blackface.
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk: I cannot believe you are freaking out about this! It's a great idea!
Carla: Turk! We are not having wedding PIE!
Turk: That is so typical of you, Carla! This whole wedding has been about you, and I'll prove it!
Carla: Give me back my wedding planner!
Turk: Frank Sinatra as our first dance. Please, baby, that guy has only got one good song. You got...pink roses. I hate pink! Big screen TV at the reception! Big screen TV at the reception?
Carla: I knew how much you wanted to see the play-offs.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Corman: Please, call me Harvey.
Dr. Cox: "Harvey Corman"?
Mr. Corman: Doesn't get me as much action as you'd think.
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D: Guess it's just the two of us.
Danni: Do you wanna have sex?
J.D: I guess.
Danni: Do I have to look at you?
J.D: Please don't.
Danni: Shut up!
 • Rating: Unrated

(Sean & Elliot walking past J.D.)
Sean: It's, just it's so hard to make myself look for an apartment when im sharing my bed with the most beautiful girl in the world.
J.D.: Really, what's his name? (starts drinking coffee)
J.D.'s narration: That made absolutely no sense, so just keep sipping
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox: Color me intrigued, Bob.
Dr. Kelso: I am considering offering full body scans here at Sacred Heart. What do you think?
Dr. Cox: I think showing perfectly healthy people every harmless imperfection in their body just to scare them into taking invasive and often pointless tests is an unholy sin.
Dr. Kelso: Does sound a little sketchy ethically, doesn't it? Thanks, Perry.
Dr. Cox: Did that just happen? Anybody?
 • Rating: Unrated

Danni: You know what I was thinking?
J.D.: Nobody cares, Danni.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

J.D.: Hey, Turk! Where're you guys gonna live after you get married?
Carla: You mean where you gonna live?
Turk: Baby, not now. Don't know yet!
 • Rating: Unrated

On advertisement
Girl: Mommy? When's daddy coming home?
Mother: He isn't. If only he'd loved us enough to get a full body scan at Sacred Heart!
 • Rating: Unrated

Danni: I'm gonna go put some clothes on. After all, I am a lady... Oh, by the way, I used your razor to shave my pits.
J.D.: Keep it.
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: Dude, Danni did the weirdest thing last night - she called out her own name during sex.
Turk: That is weird. Why are we whispering?
J.D.: Because she hears like a bat.
Turk: Bats hear really well?
J.D.: Yeah, 'cause they can't see.
Turk: Oh, yeah, that's right, sonar. Wait a second, that's whales!
J.D.: No, no, no, no, no. Bats and whales, bats and whales!
Turk: Okay, okay, okay.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

J.D.: Anyway, I have to break up with her.
J.D.'s Narration: Okay, just let her down easy.
J.D.: Danni, I'm not sure how to do this but, uh... I just don't think we should see each other anymore.
Danni: Cool. I'm already kinda sleeping with this guy named Danny, anyway.
Turk: Whoa! I guess she wasn't calling out her own name after all!
J.D.: You know what! I don't even care, you know why? Because I bet she's calling out my name while she's sleeping with him!
Danni: No, I don't!
J.D.: See, like a bat, dude! Like a bat!
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.'s Narration: It actually wasn't that awkward breaking up with Danni. It was... a little odd that she stuck around for two hours to do her morning yoga.
 • Rating: Unrated

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