Seinfeld Quotes
Is that so unforgivable? Is that like breaking a commandment? Did God say to Moses thou shalt not pick?
Jerry
What is with this damn zipper?
George
Kramer: THE BEACH!!! (enters the apartment) You smell like the beach. What's the name of that perfume you're wearing?
Tia: It's Ocean by CALVIN KLEIN.
Kramer: CALVIN KLEIN? No, no. That's my idea. They, they stole my idea. Y'see I had the idea of a cologne that makes you smell like you just came from the beach.
Jerry: I know look at this (shows an ad from CK)
Kramer: (shocked) Whooo! That's you! What is going on here? The gyp, he laughs at me then he steals my idea. I could have been a millionaire. I could have been a fragrance millionaire, Jerry. They're not going to get away with this. (leaves)
She made a big breakfast every Sunday. I don't know what she put in those eggs.
George
Kramer: What's the matter with you? I just wanted to see how tall she was.
Jerry: Oh, you're tall. She's tall I'm tall. What's the difference who's tall? We're all tall.
Jerry: Let me ask you something. If you were going out with somebody and if she did that what would, would you do? Would you continue going out with her?
George: No. That's disgusting!
Are we not human?! If we pick, do we not bleed?!
Jerry
Co-worker: (Pokes his head into the doorway) Hey, Nip, you need that manuscript or can I take it home?
Elaine: Yeah, take it! Take it! And stop calling me "Nip"!
So we go to her apartment and she goes to the bathroom. I'm cursing myself, "now how do I get out of here?" Then it hit me like a bolt of lightning. The pick!
George
Jerry: But I was clearly on the outer edge of the nostril.
Tia: I know what I saw. (Turns toward the elevators)
Jerry: But there, but there was no pick! I, I did not pick! There was no pick!
Tia: I gotta go. (she quickly walks away from Jerry)
Jerry: No! No pick!
Elaine: So, what's that?
Kramer: (not noticing) That's a nipple.
Elaine: Right!!
Kramer: (notices it) Ooo!
Elaine: Aw, great!? Didn't you see that?
Kramer: Aw, no, no I didn't notice it. No.
George: Two weeks ago I tried a soft boiled egg. Never liked it before. Now I'm dunking a piece of toast in there and I'm loving it.
Susan: I'm not a soft boiled egg.
George: And I am not a piece of toast.