George: I hate this mall, there are never any spaces here...
Kramer: Why don't you park in front of the hydrent?
George: What if there's a fire?
Kramer: Now what are the chances of that?

Jerry: Your father got arrested? What for?
George: Parking in a handicap spot. Right in the middle of his United Volunteers meeting. When he got back, he chased after me with a baseball bat.

I love the name 'isosceles'. If I had a kid, I would name him Isosceles. Isosceles Kramer.

Kramer

George: What are we gonna do? How are we gonna get out of here?
Jerry: The thing is, even if we go back by the car, and they're not there, how do we know they're not all hiding, waiting for us?
Elaine: Well, they have to give up sometime, they can't stay out there all night.
Jerry: What are we, John Dillinger? I mean, how did this get to be the crime of the century? It's not like we stuck a broomsticks in her spokes and she went flying.

Jerry: We'll have to take your car, it's got the most room.
Kramer: No, no. My car's not running.
(George comes out from the bathroom)
Jerry: What about your father's car?
George: No, no, no. Out of the question. I was over there today. He's got the good spot in front of the good building in the good neighborhood. I know he's not gonna wanna move.
Jerry: Are you serious?
George: You don't know what that spot means to him. Once he gets it, he doesn't go out for weeks.

She's got everything I've ever wanted in another human being ... except for the walking.

Kramer

Am I a hipster-doofus?

Kramer

(as George picks up a broken piece of his father's car) You know, a lot of these scratches will buff right out...

Jerry

Make sure we dont forget where the car is parked.

Kramer

George: Is it my imagination, or do really good-looking women walk a lot faster than everybody else?
Elaine: We don't walk that fast.

What am I, hard of smelling?

Elaine

Manager: What do you mean-- "stunk up?"
Jerry: I mean the car stinks! George, does the car stink?
George: Stinks.
Jerry: Stinks!

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 941 in total

Seinfeld Quotes

Elaine: (referring to Dr. Reston) He's like a Svenjolly.
Jerry: Svengali.
Elaine: What did I say?
Jerry: Svenjolly.
Elaine: Svenjolly? I did not say Svenjolly.
Jerry: George?
George: Svenjolly. (licking some peanut butter off his finger)
Elaine: I don't see how I could've said Svenjolly.
Jerry: Well, maybe he's got, like, a cheerful mental hold on you.

(to George) I don't know what your parents did to you.

Elaine
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