Jerry: Your father got arrested? What for?
George: Parking in a handicap spot. Right in the middle of his United Volunteers meeting. When he got back, he chased after me with a baseball bat.

Jerry: We'll have to take your car, it's got the most room.
Kramer: No, no. My car's not running.
(George comes out from the bathroom)
Jerry: What about your father's car?
George: No, no, no. Out of the question. I was over there today. He's got the good spot in front of the good building in the good neighborhood. I know he's not gonna wanna move.
Jerry: Are you serious?
George: You don't know what that spot means to him. Once he gets it, he doesn't go out for weeks.

Am I a hipster-doofus?

Kramer

She's got everything I've ever wanted in another human being ... except for the walking.

Kramer

Make sure we dont forget where the car is parked.

Kramer

George: What are we gonna do? How are we gonna get out of here?
Jerry: The thing is, even if we go back by the car, and they're not there, how do we know they're not all hiding, waiting for us?
Elaine: Well, they have to give up sometime, they can't stay out there all night.
Jerry: What are we, John Dillinger? I mean, how did this get to be the crime of the century? It's not like we stuck a broomsticks in her spokes and she went flying.

(as George picks up a broken piece of his father's car) You know, a lot of these scratches will buff right out...

Jerry

Jerry: Hey, what's going on?
Angry Woman: Some jerk parked in the handicap spot, so this woman in a wheel chair had to wheel up this incline, and half way up her batteries gave out, and she rolled backwards into the wall. They had to take her to St. Elizabeth's...
Jerry: Is she okay?
Angry Woman I don't know. We're just waiting here for the owner of this car to show up. He may not get out alive. Lazy bum! Taking up a handicap spot? He's gonna pay?
Jerry: Sons of bitches.

Maj-Jongg Lady: (referring to George) Frank, the important thing is, he didn't get hurt.
Frank Costanza: No it isn't!

This is our best model, the Cougar 9000. It's the Rolls Royce of wheelchairs. This is like, you're almost glad to be handicapped.

Salesman

Manager: What do you mean-- "stunk up?"
Jerry: I mean the car stinks! George, does the car stink?
George: Stinks.
Jerry: Stinks!

George: Someone stole the video right out of the car!
Jerry: Someone stole Rochelle, Rochelle?
Restaurateur: Well, you left the window open.
Jerry: We had to air out the car.

Seinfeld Quotes

Let's face it, a date is a job interview that lasts all night. The difference between a date and job interview is not many interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end.

Jerry

Elaine: (referring to Dr. Reston) He's like a Svenjolly.
Jerry: Svengali.
Elaine: What did I say?
Jerry: Svenjolly.
Elaine: Svenjolly? I did not say Svenjolly.
Jerry: George?
George: Svenjolly. (licking some peanut butter off his finger)
Elaine: I don't see how I could've said Svenjolly.
Jerry: Well, maybe he's got, like, a cheerful mental hold on you.