Seinfeld

Seinfeld Quotes (Page 2)

Season 4 Episode 22: "The Handicap Spot"

Kramer: Am I a hipster-doofus?
 • Rating: Unrated

George: Is it my imagination, or do really good-looking women walk a lot faster than everybody else?
Elaine: We don't walk that fast.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 4 Episode 21: "The Smelly Car"

Elaine: What am I, hard of smelling?
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Jerry: The "B" is gone, but the "O" is still there!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: (to Elaine) I opened the car door this morning; it was like a punch in the face! It was almost as if the smell GAINED strength overnight.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: Well, sometimes we do actually have to get up early, but a man will always trade sleep for sex.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: There should be a B.O. squad that patrols the city like a "Smell Gestapo". To sniff 'em out, strip 'em down, and wash them with a big, soapy brush...
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: When you're with a guy, and he tells you he has to get up early, what does that mean?
Jerry: It means he's lying.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

George: (on Kramer) He stole your girlfriend?
Susan: Yes. She's in love with him.
George: Amazing. I drive them to lesbianism, he brings 'em back.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: (about "Rochelle, Rochelle") It's not even frontal nudity. It's, err sidal nudity.
 • Rating: Unrated

(The car has been washed, but Jerry realizes that the smell is still there)
Jerry: Wait a minute! It still smells! It still smells!
(Cut to Carl's apartment, where he smells Elaine's hair)
Carl: It still smells.
 • Rating: Unrated

Manager: What do you mean-- "stunk up?"
Jerry: I mean the car stinks! George, does the car stink?
George: Stinks.
Jerry: Stinks!
 • Rating: Unrated

Restaurateur: I don't have time to smell cars.
George: Forget about smelling the car. Smell the valet. Go to the source
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

George: So, let me ask you. Do you think I did this?
Jerry: No, no. It's the valet guy.
George: No, no, I mean, driving Susan to lesbianism.
Jerry: Oh no, that's ridiculous.
George: What if her experience with me drive ger to it?
Jerry: Suicide, maybe, not lesbianism.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: What happened?
Jerry: What happened? My car "stinks" is what happened. And it's destroying the lives of everyone in its path.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: Boy, do you smell something?
Elaine: Do I smell something? What am I, hard of smelling? Of course I smell something.
Jerry: What is it?
Elaine: I think it's B.O.
Jerry: What?
Elaine: It's B.O. The valet must've had B.O.
Jerry: It can't be. Nobody has B.O. like this.
Elaine: Jerry, it's B.O.
Jerry: But the whole car smells.
Elaine: So?
Jerry: So, when somebody has B.O., the O usually stays with the B. Once the B leaves, the O goes with it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: You "stink." Why don't you go take a shower?
Jerry: I showered! Oh, wait a second. Since I showered, I've been in the car.
Elaine: So?
Jerry: Don't you see what's happening here? It's attached itself to me! It's alive!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: (referring to the car) ThisTHINGhas got to be stopped!
 • Rating: Unrated

Susan: You okay?
George: Yeah, yes! I just haven't seen you in a long time.
Susan: And you didn't expect me to be holding hands with a woman.
George: Oh, please! Me? C'mon? That's great! Are you kidding? I think that's fantastic! I've always encouraged experimentation! I'm the first guy in the pool! Who do you think you're talking to?
Susan: I KNOW who I'm talking to.
George: Of course you doIt's just, uh, y'know, I-I never knew, uh, that, uh
Susan: I liked women.
George: There you go.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: So, this morning, I go down to the garage to check the car out. I figure by this time, the odor molecules have had at least twelve hours to de-smellify. I open the car door, like a punch in the face, the stench hits me. It's almost as if it had GAINED strength throughout the night.
 • Rating: Unrated

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