Am I a hipster-doofus?

Kramer

George: What are we gonna do? How are we gonna get out of here?
Jerry: The thing is, even if we go back by the car, and they're not there, how do we know they're not all hiding, waiting for us?
Elaine: Well, they have to give up sometime, they can't stay out there all night.
Jerry: What are we, John Dillinger? I mean, how did this get to be the crime of the century? It's not like we stuck a broomsticks in her spokes and she went flying.

Jerry: We'll give the keys to Elaine.
Elaine: Me?
Jerry: Yeah. You're a woman. Men won't hit a woman.
Elaine: Oh, they won't?
Jerry: Not if they don't know you.

Jerry: How about this: You put your car in the good spot. That'll hold the good spot in front of the good building and we can get the good car!
George: Good thinking.
Jerry: (shaking George's hand) Good to meet you.

George: Is it my imagination, or do really good-looking women walk a lot faster than everybody else?
Elaine: We don't walk that fast.

I love the name 'isosceles'. If I had a kid, I would name him Isosceles. Isosceles Kramer.

Kramer

Make sure we dont forget where the car is parked.

Kramer

This is our best model, the Cougar 9000. It's the Rolls Royce of wheelchairs. This is like, you're almost glad to be handicapped.

Salesman

Jerry: Hey, what's going on?
Angry Woman: Some jerk parked in the handicap spot, so this woman in a wheel chair had to wheel up this incline, and half way up her batteries gave out, and she rolled backwards into the wall. They had to take her to St. Elizabeth's...
Jerry: Is she okay?
Angry Woman I don't know. We're just waiting here for the owner of this car to show up. He may not get out alive. Lazy bum! Taking up a handicap spot? He's gonna pay?
Jerry: Sons of bitches.

She's got everything I've ever wanted in another human being ... except for the walking.

Kramer

Manager: What do you mean-- "stunk up?"
Jerry: I mean the car stinks! George, does the car stink?
George: Stinks.
Jerry: Stinks!

Oh, this isn't even BO. This is beyond BO. It's BBO.

George

Seinfeld Quotes

Kramer: THE BEACH!!! (enters the apartment) You smell like the beach. What's the name of that perfume you're wearing?
Tia: It's Ocean by CALVIN KLEIN.
Kramer: CALVIN KLEIN? No, no. That's my idea. They, they stole my idea. Y'see I had the idea of a cologne that makes you smell like you just came from the beach.
Jerry: I know look at this (shows an ad from CK)
Kramer: (shocked) Whooo! That's you! What is going on here? The gyp, he laughs at me then he steals my idea. I could have been a millionaire. I could have been a fragrance millionaire, Jerry. They're not going to get away with this. (leaves)

Hoh hoh hoh, yes! Yes...Cleveland 117, San Antonio 109.

Tor