Seinfeld

Seinfeld Quotes (Page 4)

Season 4 Episode 20: "The Junior Mint"

Jerry: Y'know I remember when I was a kid growing up, kids would make fun of my name like you wouldn't believe - 'Jerry Jerry Dingleberry', 'Seinsmelled'
 • Rating: Unrated

The Doctor: I have no medical evidence to back me up, but something happened during the operation that staved off that infection. Something beyond science. Something perhaps from above
Kramer: Mint?
The Doctor: Those can be very refreshing.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 19: "The Implant"

Kramer: (while in the sauna) Whew. It's like a sauna in here.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: You know, uh... They're fake.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: Come on. Don't you think they seem a bit too perfect?Jerry: Yes they do!
 • Rating: Unrated

Sidra: And by the way. They're real, and they're spectacular!
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: (to Jerry) Just when I think you're the shallowest man I've ever met, you somehow manage to drain a little more out of the pool.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Trying to convince Jerry the man at the health club is Salman Rushdie.)
Kramer: Jerry, are you blind?! He's a writer. He said his name was Sal Bass. Bass, Jerry! Instead of salmon he went with bass. He just substituted one fish for another!
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: I never knew you were so into breasts. I thought you were a leg man.
Jerry: A leg man? Why would I be a leg man? I don't need legs. I have legs.
 • Rating: Unrated

(George double-dips a chip, and Timmy rushes over to him after seeing what he did)
Timmy: What are you doing?
George: What?
Timmy: Diddid you just double-dip that chip?
George: Excuse me?
Timmy: You double-dipped the chip!
George: Double-dipped? What are you talking about?
Timmy: You dipped the chip, you took a bite, and you dipped again.
George: So?
Timmy: That's like putting your whole mouth right in the dip! From now on, when you take a chip, just take one dip and end it!
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: Come on, what's wrong with my boys?
Jerry: Your boys should stay in their neighborhood.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: I usually last about ten minutes on the stairmaster. Unless, of course, there's someone stretching in front of me in a leotard, then I can go an hour. That's why they call it the stairmaster. You get up there and you stare.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 18: "The Old Man"

George: What kind of a person are you?
Jerry: I think I'm pretty much like you, only successful.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Elaine: You'd think they'd mention that before they send you over there: "Oh, by the way, this woman almost has a second head." But no, no, I didn't get any goiter information.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: What are you talking about? How can you sit there and look me in the eye and tell that me you're not worried?! Don't you have any sense?! Don't you have a brain!? Are you so completely senile that you don't know what you're talking about anymore!!?! Wait a second! Where are you going?
Mr. Cantwell: Life's too short to waste on you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: I HATE my guyhe's a mean, MEAN guy!
 • Rating: Unrated

Old Man: My teef! My teef!
 • Rating: Unrated

George: Let me ask you something... What do you do for a living, Newman?Newman: I'm a United States postal worker.George: Aren't those the guys that always go crazy and come back with a gun and shoot everybody?Newman: Sometimes.Jerry: Why is that?Newman: Because the mail never stops. It just keeps coming and coming and coming. There's never a letup, It's relentless. Every day it piles up more and more, but the more you get out, the more it keeps coming. And then the bar code reader breaks. And then it's Publisher's Clearinghouse day.Jerry: All right, all right.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: (to housekeeper) I would like to dip my bald head in oil and rub it all over your body.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jerry: The agency sent me.
Mr. Fields: The agency, what agency? The CIA?
 • Rating: Unrated

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