Seinfeld

Seinfeld Quotes (Page 5)

Season 4 Episode 18: "The Old Man"

Old Lady: What's bothering you? Is it my goiter?
Elaine: Goiter? What goiter?
Old Lady: This football shaped growth jutting out of my neck!
Elaine: Oh, noit's distinctive; as a matter of fact I wish I had one!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kramer: (in Newman's ear) This guy's nothin' but a piece of crap
Newman: You are nothing but a piece of crap.
Ron: Pardon me?
Kramer: (in Newman's ear) A piece of crap
Newman: A piece of crap.
Kramer: (in Newman's ear) I find you extremely ugly
Newman I find you extremely ugly.
Ron: Do you?
Kramer: (in Newman's ear) You emit a foul and unpleasant odor
Newman: You emit a foul and unpleasant odor.
Ron: Oh, is that right?
Kramer: (in Newman's ear) I loathe you
Newman: I loathe you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 17: "The Outing"

(on being homosexual)
Jerry and/or George:Not that there's anything wrong with that!
 • Rating: Unrated

George: Two tickets to "Guys And Dolls"! I'm gonna go with you!
Jerry: "Guys And Dolls"? Isn't that a lavish, Broadway musical?
George: It's "Guys And Dolls," not "Guys And Guys."
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: Come on, I thought we were all gonna take a steam.
Jerry & George: No! No Steam!
Kramer: Well I don't wanna sit there naked all by myself!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(To Jerry in front of reporter from NYU)
George: You see the way he talks to me?
 • Rating: Unrated

George: I'm Buck Naked!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: I've been outed, and I was never in!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: We're not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
 • Rating: Unrated

(When Elaine refuses to remove her coat)
George: Ya know, there are tribes in Indonesia where if you keep your coat on in somebody's house, the families go to war!
 • Rating: Unrated

George: You can do better than me. You could throw a dart out the window and hit someone better than me. I'm no good!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

George: (explaining how he and Jerry met) Actually it was in gym class. I was trying to climb the ropes and Jerry was spotting me. I kept slipping and burning my thighs and then finally I slipped and fell on Jerry's head. We've been close ever since.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: (trying to convince a reporter that he's not gay) Look, you wanna have sex right now? Do want to have sex with me right now? Let's go! C'mon, let's go baby! C'mon!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

George: (trying one more tactic to end their relationship) I'm gay! I'm a gay man! I'm very, very gay.
Allison: You're gay?
George: Extraordinarily gay. Steeped in gayness.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 16: "The Shoes"

Jerry: You know primavera is Italian for spring.
George: No!
 • Rating: Unrated

(George is looking at Russell's daughter and her cleavage)
Russell: Get a good look, Costanza?
 • Rating: 3.5 / 5.0

Jerry: Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun, you don't stare at it. It's too risky! You get a sense of it and then you look away.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Elaine: Why are my shoes a topic of conversation?
 • Rating: Unrated

George: Divorce is very difficult, especially on the kids. Of course, I'm the result of my parents having stayed together, so you never know.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

George: How's this for criticism? Umyou stink. How do you like that criticism?
 • Rating: Unrated

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