Seinfeld

Seinfeld Quotes (Page 7)

Episode 15: "The Visa"

Babu: (blaming Jerry for his deportation to Pakistan) I am going to save up every rupee. For someday, I will get back to America, and when I do, I will exact vengeance on this man. I cannot forget it, he haunts me. He is a very bad man, very, very bad man.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: Yeah, well, Joe Pepitone or not, I own the inside of that plate! So I throw one inside, a little chin music put him right on his pants, because I got to intimidate when I'm on the mound. Well, the next pitch, he's right back in the same place! So I had to plunk him.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

George: Jerry's whole life revolves around Superman and cereal!
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 14: "The Movie"

Announcer: A young woman's strange erotic journey from Milan to Minsk. It's a story about life, and love, and becoming a woman. "Rochelle, Rochelle" now playing at the Paradise Twin.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

George: I have been going to the movies for 25 years and nobody ever asks me for the stub.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: (describing Jerry) A guy who's about five foot eleven, he's got uh, a big head and flared nostrils.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: (describing Jerry) Like, a horse face, big teeth, and a pointed nose.
 • Rating: Unrated

The Ticket Lady: (describing George) A short guy with glasses, looked like Humpty Dumpty with a melon head.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: (describing Elaine) A pretty woman, you know, kinda short, big wall of hair, face like a frying pan.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: (describing Kramer) Have you seen a tall, lanky dufus with a bird face and hair like the bride of Frankenstein?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kramer: I don't want a movie hot dog. I want a Papaya King hot dog!
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: George, you're sappin' my strength.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: Men can sit through the most pointless, boring movie if there's even the slightest possibility that a woman will take her top off.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Elaine: No, I don't want to go to a mini-plex multi-theater! It's not a theater, it's like a room where they bring in POW's to show them propaganda films.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: (to his annoying colleague Pat) No, I'm not riffing. I'm ignoring. Do you understand the difference?
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 13: "The Pick"

CK Representative: His buttocks are sublime.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: I am not an animal!
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: Let me tell you, I didn't intentionally expose myself, but, now, I wish I had. For it is not me, but you who have been exposed, for I have seen the nipple on your soul!
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: Date with Fred.
Jerry: The religious guy???
Elaine: He's not THAT religious!
Jerry: Let us pray...
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: Volunteer work See, that's what I love about the holiday season. That's the true spirit of Christmas. People being helped by people other than me. That makes me feel good inside.
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite "Seinfeld" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!