Two bedrooms? Why do I need two bedrooms? I got enough trouble maintaining activity in one.

Jerry

Elaine: She just got some part in some dinner-theater production of a Chorus Line. So, now all day long she's walking around the apartment singing: (breathless singing) "God, I hope I get it, I hope I get it". (stops singing) She's gonna get it right in her

Y'know I think that even if you've had a relationship with someone, or let's say, especially if you've had a relationship with someone and you try to become friends afterwards, it's very difficult. Isn't this? It's hard. Because, you know each other so well, you know all of each others tricks. It's like two magicians, trying to entertain each other. The one goes, "Look, a rabbit". The other goes, "So? ... I believe this is your card".
"Look, why don't we just saw each other in half and call it a night? Okay?"

Jerry

Sagman, Bennet, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taft.

Jerry

Jerry: Wait a second That's her on the right.
George: I forgot who I am! Who am I?!
Jerry: You're you. We're having lunch with Art Corvelay.
George: Vandelay!
Jerry: Corvelay!
George: Let me be the architect, I can do it!

George: ArtCore.
Jerry: Art Core?
George: velay.
Jerry: Corevelay?

(opening bit) I think to a man, a cheque is like a note from your mother that says "I don't have any money, but if you'll contact these people, I'm sure they'll stick up for me... If you just trust me this one time I don't have any money but I have these... I wrote on these... is this of any value at all?

Jerry

George: I'm, uh, I'm an architect.
Vanessa: Really. What do you design?
George: Uh, railroads, uh
Vanessa: I thought engineers do that.
George: They can

Jerry: So, do you date immature men?
Vanessa: Almost exclusively.

Jerry: What's that one?
Elaine: "Cocoon II: The Return". I guess they didn't like it up there
Jerry: Maybe they came back for Chinese food. Y'know Maureen Stapleton, if she gets a craving, she's probably screaming at those aliens, "I gotta have a Lo Mein!"

Elaine: What do you think their parents think?
Jerry: "So, uh, what's your son doing now, Dr. Stevens?" "Oh, he's a public fornicator. Yes, he's a fine boy."

A wedding!? Have you lost it, man?

Elaine
Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 78 in total

Seinfeld Season 1 Quotes

I swear, I have absolutely no idea what women are thinking. I don't get it, okay? I I I admit, I, I'm not getting the signals. I am not getting it! Women, they're so subtle, their little everything they do is subtle. Men are not subtle, we are obvious. Women know what men want, men know what men want, what do we want? We want women, that's it! It's the only thing we know for sure, it really is. We want women. How do we get them? Oh, we don't know 'bout that, we don't know. The next step after that we have no idea. This is why you see men honking car-horns, yelling from construction sites. These are the best ideas we've had so far. The car-horn honk, is that a beauty? Have you seen men doing this? What is this? The man is in the car, the woman walks by the front of the car, he honks. E-eeehh, eehhh, eehhh! This man is out of ideas. How does it? E-e-e-eeeehhhh! "I don't think she likes me." The amazing thing is, that we still get women, don't we? Men, I mean, men are with women. You see men with women. How are men getting women, many people wonder. Let me tell you a little bit about our organization. Wherever women are, we have a man working on the situation right now. Now, he may not be our best man, okay, we have a lot of areas to cover, but someone from our staff is on the scene. That's why, I think, men get frustrated, when we see women reading articles, like "Where to meet men?" We're here, we are everywhere. We're honking our horns to serve you better.

Jerry

Let's face it, a date is a job interview that lasts all night. The difference between a date and job interview is not many interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end.

Jerry
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