My name is Bill. I might be the last person you ever see.

Bill

(to George) You're wearing the chocolate shirt!

Jerry

Oh, fire engines, ambulances all along the runway. And then, when we landed safely, they all seemed so...disappointed.

Jerry

Yeah, I eat the whole apple. The core, stem, seeds, everything.

Kramer

(to Jerry) I'm offering you 53 channels, movies, sports, nudity, and it's free for life!

Kramer

George: Someday, before I die, mark my words I'm gonna tell that woman exactly what I think of her. I'll never be able to forgive myself until I do.
Jerry: And if you do?
George: I still won't be able to forgive myself, but at least it won't be about this.

Man, it's the ninetiesit's Hammer time!

Kramer

Jerry: Explain to me how this baby shower thing works.
Elaine: What do you wanna know?
Jerry: Well, I mean, does it ever erupt into a drunken orgy of violence?
Elaine: Rarely.

Every woman on the face of the Earth has complete control of my life and yet, I want them all. Is that irony?

George

Sometimes the road less travelled is less travelled for a reason.

Jerry

George: Bust of Nelson Rockefeller?Jerry: Too gubernatorial.

Kramer: What are you guys going to do today?Elaine: This... and that.Jerry: And the other!

Seinfeld Season 2 Quotes

Mr. Benes: Are you working?
Elaine: Yeah, I'm reading manuscripts for Pendant Publishing. I told you ten times.
Mr. Benes: Pendant, those bastards!

(about the marathon) Ah, what's to see? A woman from Norway, a guy from Kenya and 20,000 losers.

Jerry