Seinfeld

Seinfeld

NBC
Season: 4 3 2 1

Seinfeld Season 2 Quotes (Page 4)

Season 2 Episode 9: "The Deal"

Kramer: (to Jerry and Elaine) Boy, I liked you so much better when you weren't a couple.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 8: "The Heart Attack"

Tor: (to Jerry) You're eating too much dairy.
 • Rating: Unrated
Jerry: Eckman? I thought he was doing time?
Kramer: No, no, he's out. He got out.
 • Rating: Unrated
George: It's all over for me. In fact...let's end it right now. Jerry, kill me, kill me now. I'm begging you. Let's just get it over with. Be a pal. Just take the pillow and put it over my face.
Jerry: Well, uh...What? Kinda like this?
George (muffled) What are you doing?! What are you, crazy?!
Elaine: Jerry!
Jerry: Elaine! What are you doing here?
 • Rating: Unrated
George: I'll tell ya, if I ever get out of here, I'm gonna change my life. I'm gonna do a whole Zen...thing...
 • Rating: Unrated
George: Could it be...luke-warm?
 • Rating: Unrated
Tor: Hoh hoh hoh, yes! Yes...Cleveland 117, San Antonio 109.
 • Rating: Unrated
Kramer: Boy, they've got a great cafeteria downstairs. Hot food, sandwiches, a salad bar. It's like a Sizzler's opened up a hospital!
 • Rating: Unrated
George: I'm an eggplant!
 • Rating: Unrated
Tor: No. You know, I am not a business man. I'm a holistic healer. It's a calling, it's a gift. You see, it's in the best interest of the medical profession that you remain sick. You see, that insures good business. You're not a patient. You're a customer.
Jerry: And you're not a doctor, but you play one in real life.
 • Rating: Unrated
Kramer: My name is Bob!
 • Rating: Unrated
Jerry: Well it's like the Capulets and the Montagues.
 • Rating: Unrated
Jerry: Yeah if you're exposed to gamma rays!
 • Rating: Unrated
Jerry: Women go after doctors like men go after models, they want someone with knowledge of the body, we just want the body.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
George: What should I do, Kramer?Jerry: Well for one thing, don't listen to him.
 • Rating: Unrated
Jerry: He saw that show on anorexia last year; ate like a pig for two weeks!
 • Rating: Unrated
Tor: What month were you born in?George: April.Tor: You should've been born in August.
 • Rating: Unrated
George: Meningitis? Scoliosis? Lupus? Is it Lupus?!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Elaine: Hey, where's Kramer?
Jerry: I don't know. That's like asking: where's Waldo?
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Elaine: You're bringing in an outside cucumber?
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

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Season: 4 3 2 1
Total Season 2 Quotes: 196
Total Seinfeld Quotes: 941
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