Shameless
Sundays 9:00 PM on ShowtimePopular Shameless Quotes
V: I wanted him to fail. I thought he'd be overwhelmed.
Fiona: And?
V: Jackass is a better mom than me.
You shut up, it's summer!
Fiona
Kev wants fucking pancakes!
V
You're cynical, Fiona. You're too young and pretty to be so cynical. And hard. It makes me feel sad for you.
Sami
Surrogate. I rent uterus like youth hostel.
Svetlana
Kev: Hey, this is cool. Hanging out with you, talking about all this baby stuff. You know at first, come here honey, to be honest with you, I always thought you were just some handjob whore.
Svetlana: Oh, it's okay. I thought you were illiterate bartender pimp.
Svetlana: Why you done with public pool? Someone shit in it?
Debbie: No.
Svetlana: Someone shit on you?
Debbie: Sort of.
Sean: You took your monitor off yourself.
Fiona: So?
Sean: So, you should have waited for the P.O. and you know it.
Fiona: That's a technicality. You're gonna judge me for that?
Sean: No, I'm not gonna judge you for that. I find it charming as fuck that you took a screwdriver to your monitor. And I find it sexy as hell that you had a bloody lip before lunch today.
Fiona: Are you making fun of me?
Sean: No. It's just you're a chaos junkie, Fiona. And I'm a junkie, junkie. So I love chaos. And when I get into chaos, bad shit follows.
Laugh. Laugh. You won't be laughing in a year when you won't be able to afford to live here. They move in, they take over. They kick the homeless out of the park, as if they don't have a God given right to sleep there. We are dinosaurs, my friend. And a big, fat comet is headed for our sweet slice of Earth. And that comet is a Starbucks.
Frank
So as a parent, it's my responsibility to tell you that the reason people don't like you and that you're father doesn't want to be around you, is because you're very, very needy. I just think you should know that. And then you can work on it. You're needy. And annoying. And slutty. And a bad mother.
Sheila [to Sami]
Lip: You are gorgeous, okay? You are sweet. You are funny. You're very smart. You know that, right?
Mandy: Shut up.
Lip: Hey, hey, I mean it, okay? You're a good person Mandy.
Strongest beer known to man. It's also good for cleaning toilets and sinks or degreasing auto parts. Makes a nice anti-bacterial for minor wounds. You should get some for the bar.
Frank
