Your boyfriend's losing his shit.

Svetlana [to Mickey]

Gallagher's don't do announcements at dinner. We do blackouts, suicide attempts, but never blackouts.

Debbie

Still don't want your family to know? Nothing says no regrets like hiding it from those you love.

Sean [to Fiona]

Thanks for the liver, kid. Here's to you.

Frank

Could you call me Dad?

Wade [to Frank]

I'm just as fucking south side as you are.

Lip [to Mickey]

South side, huh? Fucking knew it. College bitch.

Mickey [to Lip]

Lip: You got married?
Fiona: Yeah.
Lip: Fuck. To who?
Fiona: Gus.
Lip: Who the fucks Gus?
Fiona: I've mentioned him before.
Lip: Yeah in passing. Jesus, married? Are you happy or---
Fiona: Do I seem happy?

Mickey: Where'd you get this?
Ian: From the producer of the movie.
Mickey: What movie?
Ian: I did a porno.
Mickey: You did a what?

What was I supposed to do? Was I supposed to sit on my porch knitting, hoping one day you'd show back up. You disappeared. Gone. Nothing.

Fiona [to Jimmy/Steve]

Hey, I need to borrow your car. Ian just stole a baby.

Lip [to Amanda]

Lip: What the fuck is he doing here?
Fiona: I have no idea.
Jimmy/Steve: Hey Lip, how you been?
Lip: I thought you were married?
Fiona: I am.
Sami: You're married?
Fiona: Uh huh.
Debbie: What? To who?
Lip: To Gus.
Carl: The musician?
Sami: Is that Gus?
Debbie: No, that's Jimmy.
Sami: Who's Jimmy?
Debbie: Her old boyfriend.
Sami: Then who's Gus?

Shameless Quotes

Everytime she pees on the stick it's bad news and then I get depressed thinking about my husband banging my mom cause we selfishly wanna have a baby with some of our DNA.

V

Gus: See you at two.
Fiona: Wouldn't miss it.