Receptionist: You'll need someone to pick you up, you'll be heavily medicated. Do you have a husband or boyfriend?
Frank: She has both.

You go anywhere near Sean, I will set you on fucking fire.


I can tell when someone's being cagey, or being a shit because I spent most of my life being both.


It's your hormones. You leak from your face until the babies come and then you leak from your titties.


Debbie: Carl, Fiona's pregnant and I need the whole family to talk her into keeping it. You in?
Carl: Yo white girl, I don't know you.

This is your time, Debs.


You ghosted him. Now, you're ghosting your baby.


Oh, so you get to leave late 'cause you're fucking the boss?


I'm sick of hearing about your dead girlfriend.


Fiona: Does he talk?
Carl: I got him covered.

He's coming back. His parents are ass holes.


It totally looks like you just fucked a tadpole.


Shameless Quotes

We’re all addicts Fiona, trying to fill a void. Some of us are just better at hiding it, right?


Lip: What exactly does hooked up mean?
Kevin: Last I checked penis goes into the vagina.