Receptionist: You'll need someone to pick you up, you'll be heavily medicated. Do you have a husband or boyfriend?
Frank: She has both.

You go anywhere near Sean, I will set you on fucking fire.


I can tell when someone's being cagey, or being a shit because I spent most of my life being both.


It's your hormones. You leak from your face until the babies come and then you leak from your titties.


Debbie: Carl, Fiona's pregnant and I need the whole family to talk her into keeping it. You in?
Carl: Yo white girl, I don't know you.

This is your time, Debs.


You ghosted him. Now, you're ghosting your baby.


Oh, so you get to leave late 'cause you're fucking the boss?


I'm sick of hearing about your dead girlfriend.


Fiona: Does he talk?
Carl: I got him covered.

He's coming back. His parents are ass holes.


It totally looks like you just fucked a tadpole.


Shameless Quotes

Get your ass up you goddamn ponytail Fabio motherfucker.


Sean: You took your monitor off yourself.
Fiona: So?
Sean: So, you should have waited for the P.O. and you know it.
Fiona: That's a technicality. You're gonna judge me for that?
Sean: No, I'm not gonna judge you for that. I find it charming as fuck that you took a screwdriver to your monitor. And I find it sexy as hell that you had a bloody lip before lunch today.
Fiona: Are you making fun of me?
Sean: No. It's just you're a chaos junkie, Fiona. And I'm a junkie, junkie. So I love chaos. And when I get into chaos, bad shit follows.