You have to wake up, you've got some husbandly duties to attend.

Sheila [to Frank]

Carl: Frank survived his liver transplanti n case you were wondering.
Ian: Nope, wasn't.

I just wanna say that I love you and that I forgive you for everything...unless you live, then I'm still pissed off.

Debbie [to Frank]

Fiona: I don't wanna be another Frank or Monica. I'm not fishing for a pep talk, I just...I don't know who I am anymore, because clearly I'm not the big sister who's taking care of anyone.
Lip: Maybe that's good?
Fiona: How?
Lip: There's more to you than that.

Are you robbing me with my own fucking gun?

Mickey [to Kev]

Debbie: That's not like Fiona.
Lip: What has she done this month that's like Fiona?

What if she's pulling a Frank?

Lip [about Fiona]

All I do is look for my family. I'm getting all of you ankle monitors.

Debbie

Debbie: Why do guys care so much about sex?
Carl: Because it feels awesome.
Debbie: How would you know?
Carl: If my hand's anything like the real thing, it's off the chain.

I prefer carcinogens to endorphins.

Lip

Hey Mike if you give me another chance, I promise not to screw your brother or commit a felony!

Fiona

Carl: How can you tell when you're in love with someone?
Debbie: When you wanna rip out someone's heart and stomp on it until it's soup.

Shameless Quotes

Sean: You took your monitor off yourself.
Fiona: So?
Sean: So, you should have waited for the P.O. and you know it.
Fiona: That's a technicality. You're gonna judge me for that?
Sean: No, I'm not gonna judge you for that. I find it charming as fuck that you took a screwdriver to your monitor. And I find it sexy as hell that you had a bloody lip before lunch today.
Fiona: Are you making fun of me?
Sean: No. It's just you're a chaos junkie, Fiona. And I'm a junkie, junkie. So I love chaos. And when I get into chaos, bad shit follows.

Lip: You are gorgeous, okay? You are sweet. You are funny. You're very smart. You know that, right?
Mandy: Shut up.
Lip: Hey, hey, I mean it, okay? You're a good person Mandy.