Fiona: Does he talk?
Carl: I got him covered.

He's coming back. His parents are ass holes.

Debbie

I'm sick of hearing about your dead girlfriend.

Fiona

Get up old man.

Fiona

I don't know how much more of that I can take without stabbing him in the neck with a broken beer bottle.

Fiona

Use the downstairs toilet if you're so fucking desperate.

Debbie

Frank: What is the matter with you people? She was my soul mate.
Debbie: She probably killed herself just to get away from you.

Guess our reputation as a shit hole is still safe.

Waitress

Happy is overrated. Grow up, Fiona.

Sean

Bianca: Thank you.
Frank: For what?
Bianca: You have made me happy. I've never been very happy.

Could I possibly be doing a worse job at raising these kids?

Fiona [to Gus]

Ian, Ian, I'm finally happy. People like us, we can be happy. I love him and that's the most important thing, to find somebody to love, right? Who loves you back for who you are. I want that for you.

Monica

Shameless Quotes

When you're poor, the only way to make money is to steal it or scam it.

Lip

Ian: Hey Fiona? I'm gay.
Fiona: I know.