Shameless
Sundays 9:00 PM on ShowtimeShameless Quotes
Carl: How much do these tuxes cost?
Ian: Mickey rented them at some fancy place downtown.
Carl: Where's Mickey getting all the money for this?
Ian: Savings, he says.
Liam: Hmm. Savings?
Liam: Mickey's the bride?
Ian: Nope, groom.
Liam: So, you're the bride.
Ian: No, also a groom.
Liam: Who's wearing the white tux?
Ian: Mickey.
Liam: Father Pete marrying you?
Ian: Father Pete's Catholic. Pope won't let him marry gay people.
Liam: But Father Pete's gay. Lives in the rectory with the organist with the nipple ring.
Carl: Wait, the organist at Saint Sebastian's got a nipple ring?
Liam: You get them anything for the wedding?
Carl: Yeah, edible boxers.
Take care of them for me, will ya?
Fiona
Fiona: I feel like I got a second chance.
V: So, what now?
Lip: Any ideas?
Fiona: We can't like drug him and dump him under a bridge.
Carl: Why not?
Time to leave this little rat crap behind you and get on with being an adult.
Lawyer
Brad: How are you doing, Tammi?
Tammi: None of your fucking business, Brad.
Lip: You're strong.
Fiona: Are you sure?
Brad: Your sister coming again this morning.
Lip: Said she was, yeah. Tammi's dad showed up at my house this morning.
Brad: Bob?
Lip: Yeah.
Brad: Shit, what did he want?
Lip: Wants to know my plan.
Fiona: Hi, my name's Fiona, and I'm not sure if I'm an alcoholic.
Everyone: Hi Fiona.
