Stan: Dude! The video game just gave Kenny a seizure!
Cartman: Ah, sweet! This game's cool!

• Permalink: Dude! The video game just gave Kenny a seizure! Ah, sweet! Thi...
• Rating: Unrated

Jimbo: You're in luck; Ned here used to be the state champion until a grenade blew his arm off.
Ned: Mm, I can still kick ass.

• Permalink: You're in luck; Ned here used to be the state champion until a g...
• Rating: Unrated

Chinpokomon Executive: You have such a large penis.
Sharon Marsh: What??
Chinpokomon Executive: Your penis, wow!
(Mr. Hosik slaps his executive and pushes him aside)
Mr. Hosik: What he means is all MEN in this town have very large penis.
Sharon Marsh: Can't you see what's happening? They're just using their talk to distract you! He doesn't really have a small penis!
(Mr. Hosik pulls down his pants, everybody looks shocked)
Sharon Marsh: Oh.

• Permalink: You have such a large penis. What?? Your penis, wow! Wha...
• Rating: Unrated

For the last time I am not Garrison-san! and this is not Hat-san!

Mr. Garrison

• Permalink: For the last time I am not Garrison-san! and this is not Hat-san...
• Rating: Unrated

(From the 'Wild Wacky Action Bike' commercial)
Singer: Wild, Wacky Action Bike! Very hard to drive!
Narrator: Wild Wacky Action Bike is impossible to steer. And it glows in the dark!

• Permalink: Wild, Wacky Action Bike! Very hard to drive! Wild Wacky Action...
• Rating: Unrated

(Singing on the streets) Come on, people, join together. Join-together-so-I-can-get-more-money-for-ChinPokoMon!

Cartman

• Permalink: Come on, people, join together. Join-together-so-I-can-get-more...
• Rating: Unrated

Gerald: You see, son, fads come and go. And this "Chin-po-ko Mon" is obviously nothing more than a fad. You don't have to be a part of it. In fact, you can make an even stronger statement by saying to your peers, "I'm not going to be a part of this fad, because I'm an individual." Do you understand?
Kyle: Yes. Yes, I do, Dad. Now let me tell you how it works in the real world. In the real world, I can either get a Chinpokomon, or I can be the only kid without one, which singles me out, and causes the other kids to make fun of me and kick my ass.
Gerald: Hmm. Good point; here's $10. On second thought, here's $20 pick up one for your brother too.

• Permalink: You see, son, fads come and go. And this Chin-po-ko Mon is obvio...
• Rating: Unrated

Well looks like we'll have to apply the Offenheimer technique. PUNCH HIM IN THE BALLS TWEEK!

Jimbo

• Permalink: Well looks like we'll have to apply the Offenheimer technique. P...
• Rating: Unrated

Dude, you're just jealous because I'm Chinpoko Master!

Kyle

• Permalink: Dude, you're just jealous because I'm Chinpoko Master!
• Rating: Unrated

When his wife asks him where he's been, just use the action button and Alabama Man will bust her lip open.

Alabama Man Commercial

• Permalink: When his wife asks him where he's been, just use the action butt...
• Rating: Unrated

You can take Alabama man to the bowling alley where he drinks heavily and chews tobacco.

Alabama Man Commercial

• Permalink: You can take Alabama man to the bowling alley where he drinks he...
• Rating: Unrated

Chinpokomon Trainer: I've got to collect all Chinpokomon! I've got to collect them all so I can become World Crown Chinpoko-Master! Oh!
Japanese Spokeswoman: All Chinpokomon, and you will have happy feeling-su!

• Permalink: I've got to collect all Chinpokomon! I've got to collect them al...
• Rating: Unrated