South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Quotes
How many iPod nanos is friendship worth? I guess, one.
Kyle
Real Kyle: So you intended us for us to go ziplining all along? Why, Stan?
Real Stan: If you signed up 3 friends...you got an iPod nano.
Real Kyle: You sold us out for an iPod nano?!
Stan: And I finally, I couldn't hold it in any more. I said "Stop it!"
Real Stan: Stop it!
If I crap in a forest, the blood will attract beavers, Kyle!
Cartman
It was like having the life sucked out of you. That's all it is, sliding down a cable.
Kyle
Just the word shuttle makes Kyle's brain fire neurons that bring up memories of just how lame shuttles can be.
Narrator
It was 10, maybe 15 minutes of pure hell.
Stan
Inside Kyle's mouth, the muscles contract to force a smile, even though in his brain, Kyle is thinking, "dude, fuck you."
Narrator
The average human acts a certain way when surrounded by friends and family. But in a tour group, the brain has to work overtime, acting nice and pretending to care about people on the tour.
Narrator
Cold sore is what girls call it, Kenny. It's actually herpes.
Cartman
For four elementary school boys, an ordinary day becomes a descent into madness on "I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining."
Narrator
We all know that bullying is an epidemic. Like AIDS, bullying is escalating and is spread mostly by penises.
Dr. Oz
