South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Season 5 Quotes
(Cartman is in the movies after losing his sense of humor)
Guy 1: Dude, why are you wearing Shilaynas' panties?
(Crowd laughs)
Guy 2: I had to wear Shilaynas' panties, Lisa's were in the wash.
(Crowd Laughs)
Guy 1: Look can we just get this over with?
Guy 2: But dude I can't french kiss him, he's my Grandpa.
(Crowd laughs)
Guy 1: Come on dude.
Guy 2: Oh alright here it goes, come here Grandpa
(Crowd laughs and cheers except for Cartman)
Cartman: Aw, dude! Bah.
Audience member: Dude, what's wrong with you?
Cartman: Nothing's wrong with me!
Guy 2: Well I'm glad that's over with. We better go back to the house now to see how Chris is doing.
Cartman: Ahahahaha.......haha...Uh.
(to Cartman) But you know, if you have completely lost your sense of humor, you can always become a writer for the show, Friends. (laughs)
Mr. Mackey
South Park Milk Company President: Well why don't we let Mrs. Garfunk do her work, and I'll take you out for some good ole' Colorado chili.
Stephen Thompson: We don't really like chili, it makes us throw up.
Cartman:Whatever. All I know is that I can laugh again, I'm gonna go home and eat another chocolate gun, come on Kenny!
(A motorbike runs over Kenny)
Cartman: Bahahahaha!
Linda: Butters can't come out and play, boys. He thinks it's funny to look like a jackass in his school pictures that I have to pay for!
Butters: Huh, but I told you mom. I didn't mean to look like a jackass! It just happened.
Kyle: (about Butters) Dude, that poor kid.
Clyde: Yeah, we got to remember to kick his ass tomorrow.
(When Cartman shows everyone Kenny's picture)
Cartman: Dude, check it out! It's the sweetest thing I've ever done!
Kenny: (muffled) YOU'VE ever done?
Eric calm down, I'm trying to yell at Butters.
Ms. Choksondick
Mr. Mackey: Well, what did you used to think was funny?
Cartman: You know, all the usual stuff. Dirty jokes, funny movies, seeing someone die. This morning, I even saw a little girl get her fingers caught in a car door and I couldn't laugh. I mean I, I knew it was funny, but I couldn't laugh.
Chris Stotch: Butters, are you ready to stop with the stupid faces?
Butters: I sure am dad.
Chris Stotch: Alright, you can take the paper bag off.
Butters: (takes bag off)Thanks dad. I'm sorry I was ba--
Chris Stotch: Oh, very funny young man! You think it's clever to make yourself up like a girl?!!
Butters: Bu-bu-bu Dad I-I didn-
Chris Stotch: Did you use your mother's makeup? She's going to be furious!
Butters: I'm not wearing make-up, Dad.
Chris Stotch: Put that bag back on!
Butters: Yes Sir. (puts bag back on)
Over 11 people world wide suffer from TPS.
Stephen Thompson
Yes, but here at South Park Milk we strive for excellence. For instance, we are now entering the extraction room. As you can see, we keep it close to the refrigeration room. That way we can get the milk to the container as fast as possible. That's why some say South Park milk tastes like you're suckin' it right from the cow's teats yourself.
South Park Milk President
