South Park

South Park Season 5 Quotes (Page 9)

Season 5 Episode 5: "Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow"

Earth Day Person: (waves hand) Global warming is going to kill us all. The Republicans are responsible.
 • Rating: Unrated

Earth Day Person: And Terrance and Phillip are more important than Mother Earth?
Cartman: Well yeah, dude.
 • Rating: Unrated

Earth Day Person: (waves hands) You don't care about Terrance and Phillip. Nothing matters more than saving the planet from Republicans. You don't need to see Terrance and Phillip.
Stan: No, dude, we really, really do.
Earth Day Person: (to woman) Their will is strong.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: Look, if you don't come and do the show, I'll make you eat your parents.
Phillip: Yeah, whatever, kid.
Stan: He'll do it, dude.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: Hey! Look at that line! It's way shorter.
Stan: I don't think we're female groupies or random sluts.
Cartman: Kenny's a random slut.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phillip: Why don't you go eat some more pudding, you fatass drug addict!
Terrance: I may be fat but at least I didn't get hair plugs!
 • Rating: Unrated

Phillip: I'm looking for a mechanic. Can you tell me how to get to the auto garage?
Terrance: Sure, buddy! All you need to do is go down to the - (he farts loudly so nobody could hear what he is saying) - and that's how you get to the auto garage!
Phillip: Can you tell me how to get to the auto garage without farting?
Terrance: Sure. You go the same way except stick your finger up your ass.
Phillip: No, no, no! I mean, could you tell me the directions again without you farting?
Terrance: Ooh! Sure! Just stick your finger up my ass.
Phillip: Alright, no problem, buddy. (sticks finger up his ass) Now, tell me, how do I get to the auto garage to see a mechanic?
Terrance: You're at the auto garage. I am the mechanic.
Phillip: Why the heck didn't you tell me you were the mechanic?
Stan: (watching it on TV) Because I had an itch up my ass.
Terrance: Because I had an itch up my ass.
 • Rating: Unrated

Earth Day Person: Nothing is more important than the environment, boys. Not even your lives!
 • Rating: Unrated

TV show commentator: And so in her career filled with lies, back-stabbing, and whoring herself for money, she learned that the price of fame can be pleasing 65 year-old men in a dark dirty alley.
 • Rating: Unrated

TV Announcer: See Terrance and Phillip live and in person!
Stan: What's this?
 • Rating: Unrated

Ms.Choksond**k: I'm pleased to announce that the National Earth Day Organization has chosen South Park as its location for the Earth Day Brainwashing Festival!
 • Rating: Unrated

Stan: The four of us can't help tomorrow night.
Earth Day person: (angrily) YouWhat?
 • Rating: Unrated

Earth Day person: I'm warning you. You better not promise things to Earth Day people that you cannot deliver. Earth Day people can bevery unforgiving.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: Dude, Terrance got really fat.
Stan: Yea, he looks terrible.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: Where the hell's Phillip?
 • Rating: Unrated

Stan: Some thing very terrible has happened in the world of Terrance and Phillip!
 • Rating: Unrated

(Upon seeing the long line with the dorky boy at the end)
Cartman: Aw dude! Gay!
 • Rating: Unrated

Dorky kid in line: Are you guys official presidents too?
Cartman: Don't talk to us kid.
 • Rating: Unrated

Fat Lady: Hi Terrance! I'm such a huge fan!
Terrance: You're a huge fan alright!
 • Rating: Unrated

(When Cartman jumps out of the fat lady's pants)
Cartman: Man, it smells down there!
Terrance: Jesus Christ, that was fast! Well what should we name it? How about Jerry?
(Stan, Kyle, and Kenny jump out of her pants as well)
Fat lady: What the hell!?!
Terrance: Oh wow! We had quadruplets!
 • Rating: Unrated

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