The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Roger Meyers Jr: That screwball Marge Simpson, we've got to stop her... But how?
Animator: Drop an anvil on her?
1st Board Member: Hit her on the head with a piano?
2nd Board Member: Stuff her full of TNT and then throw a match down her.

Kent Brockman: So you have no professional objection to Itchy & Scratchy?
Marvin Monroe: No not at all, in fact, uh, one of my guilty little pleasures is to snuggle up with a big bucket of buttered popcorn, dim the lights, listen to Itchy and Scratchy, and laugh myself silly. Now what the hell is wrong with that?

(on the phone) You heard me, I won't be in for the rest of the week... I told you, my baby beat me up... Oh, it is not the worst excuse I ever thought up.

Homer

Marge: What kind of warped human being would find that funny?
Homer: Heh, heh.

You know, some of these stories are pretty good. I never knew mice lived such interesting lives.

Homer

Are cartoons too violent for children? Most people would say "No, of course not, what kind of stupid question is that?" But one woman says "Yes"... Marge Simpson.

Kent Brockman

In preparing for this debate, I did a little research, and I discovered something astonishing. There was violence in the past, long before cartoons were invented.

Roger Meyers Jr.

(Reading hate mail) "I will never watch your show, buy any of your products or brake if I see you crossing the street." That's cold. "Dear sleaze merchant." Oh, come on, that hurts. Gentlemen, the screwballs have spoken.

Roger Meyers Jr.

Itchy: This really hits the spot.
Scratchy: Doesn't it though?
Itchy: You make really good lemonade Scratchy.
Scratchy: Why thank you Itchy.

Dr. Hibbert: This little boy broke his leg, trying to fly like Superman. This little boy's brother hit him in the head with a wrench, mimicking a recent TV wrestling match. I won't even subject you to the horrors of our Three Stooges ward.
Marge: Gee, I never realized TV was such a dangerous influence.

(to Lance Murdoch) Think you got guts, try raising my kids!

Homer

Bart: Otto, I'm going to jump Springfield Gorge on my skateboard.
Otto: You know, Bart, as the only adult here, I feel I should say something?
Bart: What?
Otto: Cool!

Displaying quotes 205 - 216 of 350 in total

The Simpsons Season 2 Quotes

Bones heal, chicks dig scars, and the United States of America has the best doctor-to-daredevil ratio in the world.

Lance Murdoch

(Homer tries to retrieve the angry letter that Bart accidentally put in the mail.)
Homer: Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
P.O. Worker: Okay, Mr. Burns. What's your first name?
Homer: I...don't know.