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The-simpsons

Dr. Hibbert: Um, your wife agreed that I should break this to you.
Homer: No need, Doc. I can read Marge like a book. (Looks at Marge, who is very glum.)
Marge: Hmm.
Homer: Ooh, it's good news, isn't it?

(Homer looks over the menu.)
Homer: There's got to be something I haven't tried. Huh? Hey, hey, what's this? Fugu!
Akira: (Gasps.) It is a blowfish, sir. But I should warn you that one-
Homer: Come on, pal. Fugu me!

(While Marge appears to be tossing a salad Homer watches the microwave.)
Homer: Is it done yet? Is it done yet?
Marge: Your meatloaf will be ready in eight seconds, Homer.
Homer: D'oh! Isn't there anything faster than a microwave?
(Homer watches dinner cook)
Homer: Four three two one Bing! We have meatloaf!

(Imitating Lisa) Try something new, Homer! What'll it hurt you, Homer? (Regular voice) I never heard of a poison pork chop!

</i> Homer

Dr. Hibbert: Now, a little death anxiety is normal. You can expect to go through five stages. The first is denial.
Homer: No way! Because I'm not dying!
Dr. Hibbert: The second is anger.
Homer: Why you little!
Dr. Hibbert: After that comes fear.
Homer: What's after fear? What's after fear?
Dr. Hibbert: Bargaining.
Homer: Doc, you gotta get me out of this! I'll make it worth your while!
Dr. Hibbert: Finally, acceptance.
Homer: Well, we all gotta go sometime.
Dr. Hibbert: Mr. Simpson, your progress astounds me.

Ahem. This is a videotape for my daughter Maggie. Hi, Maggie! I'm speaking to you from beyond the grave. Woooooooo! Hee hee hee, hope that didn't scare you. Well, Maggie, you're grown-up now, and unless you taped over this, you're probably wondering what kind of man your father was. He was a simple man, a kind man, a gentle man who loved his children and- (Phone rings) D'oh! Hello! Yeah, he's here, who is this? (Scratches butt) Bart's friend Milhouse? Bart! Get your butt down here!

Homer

Dr. Hibbert: You have twenty-four hours to live.
Homer: Twenty-four hours!
Dr. Hibbert: Well, twenty-two. I'm sorry I kept you waiting so long.

Homer: Poison? What should I do, what should I do? Tell me, quick.
Chef: Oh, no need to panic. There's a map to the hospital on the back of the menu.

Moe: Hello, Moe's Tavern. Birthplace of the Rob Roy.
Bart: Is Seymour there? Last name Butts.
Moe: Just a sec. Hey, is there a Butts here? A Seymour Butts? Hey, everybody, I wanna Seymour Butts! Wait a minute... Listen, you little scum-sucking pus-bucket! When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna pull out your eyeballs with a corkscrew!

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