Are you a TV Fanatic?
Sign up for our daily newsletter to receive personalized television news for free!
The Devil: Remember: Lie, cheat, steal, and listen to heavy metal music!
Bart: Yes, sir!
- Permalink: Lie, cheat, steal, and listen to heavy metal music! Yes, sir!
Lionel Hutz, attorney-at-law. What's that, a broken neck? Great!Lionel Hutz
- Permalink: Lionel Hutz, attorney-at-law. What's that, a broken neck? Great!
Marge: Is he well enough for me to start mothering him unbearably, doctor?
Hibbert: Mmmm, better let him rest up a while first.
- Permalink: Is he well enough for me to start mothering him unbearably, doct...
I always knew you'd change the world... for the better.Homer
- Permalink: I always knew you'd change the world... for the better.
They love, and share.Itchy and Scratchy's New Temporary Opening
They share and love and share.
Love, love, love,
Share, share, share.
The Itchy and Scratchy Show!
- Permalink: They love, and share. They share and love and share. Love, lov...
(Homer watches TV)
TV Announcer: It's a tool that every home handy man needs. It's a jigsaw. It's a power drill. It's a wood-turning lathe. It's an asphalt spreader. It's 67 tools in one! How much would you pay for a machine that can do all this?
Homer: (Very interested) One-thousand dollars!
TV Announcer: Oh, don't answer yet.
Homer: Oh, sorry.
- Permalink: (<i>Homer watches TV</i>) It's a tool that every home handy ma...
(Helen Lovejoy and Maude Flanders arrive at Marge's doorstep)
Helen: Get dressed, Marge. You've got to lead our protest against this abomination! (Shows Marge a newspaper with the Statue of David on the cover)
Marge: Hmm, but that's Michelangelo's David. It's a masterpiece.
Helen: (Gasps) It's filth! It graphically portrays parts of the human body which, practical as they may be, are evil.
Marge: But I like that statue.
Maude: (Gasps) I told you she was soft on full frontal nudity.
- Permalink: (<i>Helen Lovejoy and Maude Flanders arrive at Marge's doorstep<...
(Homer and Marge visit the Statue of David exhibit)
Homer: Well, there he is. Michelangelo's Dave.
Marge: Hmm, David.
- Permalink: (<i>Homer and Marge visit the Statue of David exhibit</i>) Wel...
Is it a masterpiece? Or just some guy with his pants down?Kent
- Permalink: (<i>Kent Brockman comments on the Statue of David</i>) Is it a...
Krusty: Hi, kids! (Laughs) Guess what, Sideshow Mel?
(Mel slides his whistle) It's time for Itchy and Scratchy!
Krusty: Hey, hey! Settle down boys and girls, or Krusty will have to bring out his old friend, Corporal Punishment again.
- Permalink: Krusty will have to bring out his old friend, Corporal Punishment again
Roger Meyers Jr.: Listen you're so smart, how do we end this picture?
Marge: Hmm... well, what's the problem you're having?
Roger Meyers Jr.: Ok, here it is: Itchy just stole Scratchy's ice cream cone and--
Animator: No, make it a pie. Pies are easier to draw.
Roger Meyers Jr.: Okay, a pie! Anyway, Scratchy is understandably upset.
Marge: Uh huh.
Roger Meyers Jr.: So we figured he could, you know, just grab Itchy and toss him in a bucket of acid.
Marge: Oh, dear!
Roger Meyers Jr.: But then we remembered that this might be interpreted as violence, which is morally wrong now thanks to you. So, what's your big idea? How do we end this?
Marge: Hmm... let's see. Umm... oh! Couldn't Itchy share his pie with Scratchy? Then they would both have pie!
Roger Meyers Jr.: (Looks at the story board) It's different, I'll give you that.
- Permalink: Listen you're so smart, how do we end this picture? Hmm... wel...
It's no trouble, I've got a whole garage full of tools I never use!Homer
- Permalink: It's no trouble, I've got a whole garage full of tools I never u...