The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 2 Quotes
Marge: Now we can blame him for everything!
Homer: It's your fault I'm bald.
Abe: It's your fault I'm old.
Maggie: It's your fault I can't talk!
Uncle Sam: It's your fault America has lost its way!
Everyone: It's all your fault! It's all your fault! It's all your fault!
I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!
Bart
Homer: Alright Bart, that's it! Go to your room! Now!
Bart: Okay, I'll take some white meat and some stuffing to go and send in the pumpkin pie in about twenty minutes.
Homer: I said now!
Bart: Mom do I have too?
Marge: Yes you do! I hope your happy Bart! You ruined Thanksgiving!
Alright! Twelve bucks and free grub to boot! Viva skid row!
Bart
Bart: Who the hell is that?
Homer: Bullwinkle.
Bart: Who? Wait a minute, who's that?
Homer: Underdog, don't you know anything?
Bart: It wouldn't hurt them to use some cartoons made in the last fifty years.
Homer: Bart, this is the tradition. If you build a balloon for every flash in the pad cartoon character, you'll turn the parade into a farce.
(Bart balloon shows up on the television)
Grampa: What's your hurry?
Homer: This place is depressing.
Grampa: Hey!I live here!
Homer: I'm sure it's a blast once you get used to it.
Hello, operator! Give me the number for 911!
Homer
(Announcer on P.A. system in British accent)
Announcer: Good afternoon, everybody, and welcome to the finale of what has already been a stirring afternoon of miniature golf. The cream has risen, the wheat has bid farewell to the chaff, and now we approach the championship match with but two warriors remaining: the heretofore unknown Bart Simpson and Todd Flanders: one of the most skilled ten-year-olds to ever take back the blade.
(At the miniature golf tournament, Homer gives some encouragement to Bart.)
Homer: Come on, Bart. Remember what Vince Lombardi said: "If you lose, you're out of the family!"
Homer: (Yelling) Marge, where's the Duff?
Marge: Oh, uh, we're all out, Homer.
Homer: D'oh!
Marge: Would you like some fruit juice?
Homer: (Makes fist) Don't toy with me, woman.
Why do I get the feeling that someday I'll be describing this to a psychiatrist?
</i> Lisa
(After some miniature golf practice Bart enters his bedroom and throws his putter on the floor.)
Homer: (Yelling) What are you doing?
(Homer picks up the putter.)
Homer: That putter is to you what a bat is to a baseball player, what a violin is...to the--the guy that--the violin guy! Now, come on! Give your putter a name.
(Homer hands the putter back to Bart.)
Bart: What?
Homer: Come on. Give it a name.
Bart: Mr. Putter.
Homer: D'oh! You wanna try a little harder, son? Come on. Give it a girl's name.
Bart: Mom.
Homer: Your putter's name is Charlene!
Bart: Why?
Homer: It just is, that's why!
(Homer pins up a picture of Todd Flanders.)
Homer Now, this is a picture of your enemy, Todd Flanders. Every day, I want you to spend 15 minutes staring at it and concentrating on how much you hate him and how glorious it will be when you and Charlene annihilate him!
Bart: Who's Charlene?
(Homer snatches Bart's putter out of his hands.)
Homer: I'll show you who Charlene is! Now start hating!
